Question 3

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh brother,

 

Alhamdulilah that even though your close friends are mostly non Muslim they do respe t your religion a d don’t do anything to upset you. You are just finishing secondary school and would like to go on a 5 day trip to the beach with your friends, but your parents won’t allow you. You are aware that there will be parties in the evening, but you have no plans to join them, much like you didn’t attend your schools formal to avoid any haram that would like be present.

 

As I’m sure you are aware we must respect and obey out parents, except in the case they are encouraging something against Islam. It could be loosely argued perhaps that by stopping you going that they are preventing you from mixing with others, however this argument could not be that strong because it would seem that actually them preventing you from going is protecting you from doing something and being in an environment where it is easy to fall into sin despite having good intentions. It may also be argued that you are now at an age where you can and should take responsibility for making such decisions yourself. However, I would strongly urge you to seriously consider the wisdom behind your parents trying to prevent you from going.

 

Alhamdulilah, your intentions are good; you just want to spend time with your friends, however, you must understand that there is much fitna present at a beach. There will be females there dressed in very little a d whilst you can and should lower your gaze Shaytans whispers can be very strong and say that just looking will do no harm. And, aside from that, in an environment like a beach it is pretty difficult to avoid looking at anyone else, especially on a busy day.

 

Again, regarding the parties that will be held in the evening, you say you have no intention to go, but it is possible that temptation might get the better of you come the evening. After having fun with your friends all day it might be even more difficult to decline, or you may say you will attend but you won’t drink alcohol.. Etc.. Also, avoiding such sins at your age is more difficult as peer groups are very important and hormones can also play a big role in decision making.

 

Your parents have been through this stage and so know very well what it is like. Furthermore, whilst your friends do respect your religion, if they don’t live it then they probably don’t fully understand it or the consequences of doing things like going to the beach with Islamic wisdom in mind. To them it might seem quite innocent and as a result you probably feel the same too, but as discussed abive there are many other factors to consider also.

 

So, as you can see, regardless of whether you actually go or not, your parents have done the correct thing in trying to prevent you from going. Remember that if they should permit you to go and you should fall into any sin whilst there, which is easily possible, then the sin will also fall on them too for allowing and even encouraging you to go by not stopping you. It may seem harsh, but for the sake of Allah it is as much in their interest as yours that you don’t go.

 

However, understandably you do want to see your friends and do something fun. As you say yourself you don’t see much of friends so feel that it’s not too much to ask to spend time with them this time and you may be right here. There is no harm in being with friends, within boundaries of course. So, why don’t you consider also arranging something yourself that you can be sure is more halal that your parents would also be more agreeable to that you can invite your friends to. This way you will get to spend time with them in a good environment and with the permission of your parents too.

 

May Allah reward your steadfastness and keep you on His path. May He reward your pare ts good intentions for you and guide you to make the best decision that will be most pleasing to Him.

Thursday, Jan. 01, 1970 | 00:00 - 00:00 GMT

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