Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister and ameen to your duas,

 

It sounds like you are going through a lot trying to raise your son in the best way, wanting what’s best for him, whilst trying to instill the love of Islam and Quran in him too.

 

Raising children is not easy! We all face one challenge or another and the ones you have listed here are yours. These are your tests. Rest assured you are far from alone. These are the very same struggles we all face.

 

Your best support first and foremost is prayer. Continue to pray to Allah to guide your son and to guide you in raising him in the best way.

 

Firstly, regarding trying to get your son to stick to his schedule, you can begin by not putting too much pressure on him. Putting pressure on him, and punishing him will only make him have negative associations with these things and will only make him hate them and push him away from completing as to how you want him to. Instead, focus on the positives.

 

Most children thrive on positive reinforcement, so instead of focusing on when he doesn’t stick to the schedule, reward him when he does. This way he will have positive associations with completing his chores to schedule and will be more likely to repeat the positive actions.

 

Another useful tactic in discipline children is to give them some control. This makes them more likely to complete the task as they feel a part of it as opposed to obeying commands. So, for example, you might tell him you want him to do a certain chore, but he can pick at what time he does it. Or, allow him to pick the chore and you to pick the time.

 

This way it becomes a more collaborative effort that involves him somehow, rather him feeling he is just being told what to do all the time which is the very thing that leads them to disobedience as a means to give themselves control over something they don’t.  Giving him that control prevent that from happening

 

These same principles can be applied in teaching him the Qur’an too. Reward him when he does a good job of reading when he independently picks up his Qur’an and practices son he has positive associations with the Qur’an. If he abandons it or takes things lightly, rather than being too harsh and punishing be more gentle in your approach. Being harsh will only breed hate for the Qur’an and steer him away from it.

 

Regarding homeschooling, if this is the route you take then I would highly recommend joining some of the many support groups available. There are many face to face and online. There you can meet with and chat to other homeschooling mums who will be able to advise based in their experiences. You may also get the opportunity to meet with others in the same situation too which will be good for both you and your son, especially as a single mum where you may have less opportunities for these types of interactions.

 

May Allah reward your desire to be the best parent and raise your son on the straight path. May He guide you and your son and may your son bring you happiness and contentment in this life and the next.