Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh

 

It is a shame to read stories like this where parents are not taking in their full responsibilities and are turning to things that could be such a negative influence in the children. It sounds as if you’ve almost been thrown into the position of the mother of the family taking care of siblings in their absence. This alone can evoke negative feelings regardless of everything else going on. The fact that you feel happier at school than at home is a good indication of how severe things are. Also, your parents not willing to make a change makes things even more difficult.

 

The first thing is to make sure that despite your parents attitudes towards Islam, this does not have to impact yours. In fact you could even be a positive role model to them. You must continue to practice yourself without being influenced by then. They might even see you praying regularly or reading the Qur’an and feel ashamed that they are not and be positively influenced to take action themselves. If they do, then this may soften their own hearts towards everything. Aside from this, continuing to get closer to Allah yourself will give you the strength and inspiration to manage these difficulties. This will also give you the opportunity to pray to Allah to guide your parents.

 

Make sure that when in an argument with your parents to control your tongue and only respond in a nice way, or even saying nothing at all. This might seem somewhat unfair, but repelling their mean ways with good could soften their heart. If you think about it, it’s difficult to say bad things to someone who never says bad things to you themselves.

 

You might also consider some kind of family counseling. This is something you could perhaps discuss by getting in contact with your local imam who will also be able to advise from an Islamic perspective. This way you will all get a chance to express your opinions in an environment free from judgement where all your voices will be heard. Additionally or alternatively, you might ask someone in the family who you feel comfortable with to intervene on your behalf and talk to your parents. This might be especially useful if there is someone in your family who your parents have a good relationship with and are more likely to listen to.

 

Make sure amongst all this to take care of yourself. You are under a lot of stress and it is understandable why you are feeling depressed. Make sure to make time to do all the things that you enjoy too, spend time with friends, take part in hobbies that you enjoy. This will help you to embrace life more general with a positive outlook and feel better equipped to deal with negativity. You might also consider taking a break from it all and go and stay with a friend or relative for a few days.

 

May Allah guide your parents and make things easier for you.