As salamu alaykum dear sister,

Shokran for writing to our live session.   I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through with your son.  Under no circumstances should he be treating you that way, it is abusive and not conducive to a peaceful home.  Sister, I would like you to think about how long he has been this way.   Has it been years and getting worse or was it a sudden change?  Do you think he is angry about a divorce, does he see his father often and if his father is in his life, can you talk to him about how your son is acting?

If his father is not in his life, is there someone else such as family who could help?  Do you have a brother, uncle or father who could intervene?  I would kindly suggest sister that you speak with family members about this or a trusted imam at your Masjid.  While I do not know what is going on with him, it is very obvious he is angry and goes into rages taking it out on you.  This cannot continue.  While he is your son and you love him , he is also almost grown, and as a young man out of control he can do much damage and harm to you.  I would kindly suggest dear sister that you sit with your son with someone else present and discuss his behavior and tell him it cannot continue and ask him how you can help him regain control as well as try to find out the source of his anger.  If he is non-compliant sister you may have to have him stay with a family member or you may have to petition the courts with a mental health advocate in order to get him in get counseling.  While this of course will make him angrier, I kindly suggest that you do not tell him a head of time, just do it.  This would mean that while he may not go for counseling immediately, you would and at that point your counselor would be able to offer you more concrete options of how to help your son get counseling as well as more importantly, how to keep yourself safe.

In this situation sister, you do not know what is going on.  It could be a mental health issue, it could be drugs, or it could be deeply rooted anger.  Insha’Allah it will be resolved but it may take some time.  I am more concerned with your safety right now.  Please do engage family or a trusted imam in this situation, insha’Allah sit with your son and express concern as well as limitations for his behaviors; give him the option to get help to restore not only himself-but yours and his relationship.  Please do insha’Allah get counseling as soon as possible sister so a counselor in your area can direct you to more appropriate resources to resolve this issue and provide a safety net for you in this abusive situation.  You are in our prayers, please let us know how you are.