Salam ‘Aleikom,

As a woman myself, I recognize fully the force and significance of a woman’s desire to have a baby. I am sorry to hear of your struggle with getting married. May Allah (swt) help you to survive this test!

I am also sorry that you have not been able to find a husband. Have you tried finding him on the internet? In the old days, the internet was dangerous. However, now, it is standard procedure for people to look on the internet for a partner in life. There are several Muslim matrimonial sites that provide a halal way to find your spouse, in sha’ Allah such as Half Our Deen.

I am sorry to tell you, but artificial insemination outside of marriage is unlawful in Islam. With a sperm that is not from your husband, it is unlawful in Islam.

Have you thought of adoption? I would recommend thinking about that, in Sha’ Allah. It often takes a long time and is a demanding process, but there are lots of babies out there needing to be adopted. Especially now with the Syrian crisis, there are so many orphans from parents who were killed in the war. The orphanages are full and overflowing beyond their capacity.

In addition, have you asked anyone who you are close to, who you can trust, and who would tell you the truth about yourself what they think it is about you that makes men “don’t come your way”? Maybe you can change that thing—whatever it is. Maybe you can’t change it, but you can change your attitude about it. I had a friend once who was actually ugly to me—so ugly that it was hard for me to look at her without thinking how ugly she was. But, miraculously, she had men chasing her. Why? Because she had so much self-confidence about herself that she was a very charismatic, gregarious person. I used to marvel at that and tell myself: “see that; it proves that self-confidence is a really powerful love potion”.

Now, I am not suggesting that your looks is the problem. What I am suggesting only is that whatever the problem is, it may be solvable with a change in attitude—if you can’t change the thing itself (such as that you talk too much or too little).

Whatever you do, never forget that the next life is forever. You can trust Allah’s (swt) word that He (swt) will, In Sha’ Allah, relieve all suffering in Jennah. He (swt) promises that you will have whatever you desire there. So work hard to pass this test and get to the reward in the next life —by the mercy of Allah (swt).

Also, you can look at the bright side: we need women to be doctors, teachers … etc. for our women. So, when some of us don’t have babies, it frees those people to become doctors (or pursue other important profession) for the rest of us so that we don’t have to see male doctors. If you can’t become a doctor, per se, maybe you could be a nurse or some other caregiver that we need it to be women. I used to teach driving, for example, and I had so many customers because Muslim women did not want to be alone in the car with a male teacher.

May Allah (swt) make it easy for you!