As salamu alaykum my dear sister and Ramadan Mubarak.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your depression, feeling disconnected, and thoughts about killing yourself.  I am really concerned about you and pray that Allah swt guides, protects and grants you ease from these feelings.  You must be really suffering right now, please know that you will get through this and feel good again and that suicide is not the answer.

 

Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Self Harm

You stated that you stop self-harming with a blade, but then went to rubber bands. I’m not sure what you mean by that, but it does not sound good. You also stated that you have a therapist. I am wondering if your therapist is aware of the way you are feeling?

 

Contact your Therapist, Crisis Hotline, Suicide Prevention Hotline Now

Sister I kindly advise you to contact your therapist as soon as possible and tell her about your feeling depressed, suicidal, disconnected, and the use of rubber bands to harm yourself. Schedule an appointment with her as soon as possible, but also speak with her on the phone now to let her know what you are feeling. If you are in therapy, you should have a crisis number -suicide prevention hotline number, that you can call in cases such as these if you cannot get a hold of your therapist. Please do call your nearest crisis hotline if you feel that you are going to harm yourself and reach out to a family member or someone else who is close to you to let them know how you are feeling.

 

Sister you do not have to go on feeling this way.  As you are in therapy, you need to let your therapist know if it is not working so she can try different modalities and/or different medications. Please do not wait.  Please call your therapist or a crisis center/Suicide Prevention Hotline as soon as possible.

 

Allah is Most Merciful

Sister as you have a mental illness called depression, Allah understands and makes allowances for those who suffer with illnesses. You are unable to pray because of your state of mind due to depression. This can happen when one is depressed.  When depressed, people often have a hard time connecting with anything. However, Allah is still with you, He is closer to you than your jugular vein. He knows what you are going through, and He understands. Allah is most merciful. The main thing right now sister, is calling your therapist and/or The Crisis hotline -Suicide Prevention Hotline in your area now insha’Allah.  Also let somebody close to you know how you are feeling.

 

Insha’Allah my dear sister, you will get the proper treatment for your depression so that it does not escalate to this point again.

 

Communicating with your Therapist on Treatment Success or Issues

You are young sister and you have your whole life ahead of you. Insha’Allah, it’s going to be a wonderful life. You just must take these steps in resolving your depression, which I am confident that you will insha’Allah. Often it takes trying out different therapeutic treatments to find what works and what will lead to healing. The important thing sister is to keep your therapist informed at all times on your progress, and how you are feeling so she can help you.

 

Again, I cannot stress enough- please do call The Crisis Hotline in your area as well as your therapist. You are in our prayer’s dear sister, please let us know how you are. We are here for you.