As salamu alaykum my dear sister and Ramadan Mubarak.

As I understand, you found somebody that you would like to marry, or you would like to get married, but you are afraid to tell your parents.

 

Thinking about Marriage

Sister you’re at the age where people usually start thinking about marriage. There is nothing to feel shy or fearful about this. It is a natural desire and process to seek marriage when one is of age and ready. It sounds like you have thought about what you would like and feel that you are ready for marriage.

 

Speaking with Parents About Marriage

I will kindly suggest that you do speak to your parents. If you feel shy, you may wish to write a letter that you can then read to them. This often helps one focus better on what is being said. Oftentimes shyness can cause us to forget what we have to say, miss certain important points, or get sidetracked in a conversation. By writing out what you would like to say, you can structure it in simple points yet express all your feelings at the same time.

 

Using the Qur’an and Hadiths for Talking Points

I’ll kindly suggest as well to bring up points about marriage from reputable hadiths and from the Qur’an. You may also wish to discuss the type of person that you feel you would be compatible with to marry if you have not already found someone.

 

Parents may Surprise you!

When you tell your parents insha’Allah, you may be pleasantly surprised to find out that they are open, receptive, and happy to help you. It may be that they are thinking of marriage too, but do not know how to approach you either! It could be that maybe they feel you’re not ready to get married yet or think you don’t want to get married. By telling them, you are letting them know that you are ready for marriage. Insha’Allah your parents will be very helpful and supportive of your desire to get married.

 

Right to get Married

If they are not supportive, you still have the right in Islam to get married regardless. While it is always the best to have our parents’ blessings for our marriage, we do not need their permission as it is a right given to us in Islam. If the potential spouse is Islamically acceptable for you to marry, there should be no barriers to marriage in Islam.

In a case where the parents do not want to help or are not supportive, that means that you would have to reach out to the sisters at the Masjid, the Imam, and others informing them of your desire to get married so that they may assist you in meeting someone in a halal way.

 

Conclusion

Insha’Allah, your parents will be a supportive sister.  Again, by writing out what you would like to say and highlighting your points and reasons will be most helpful especially since you are shy. May Allah bless you and guide you in your endeavor to get married. You are in our prayers we wish you the best.