Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,

We all face different challenges in life be it in our relationships with others, finances, or health amoungst many others. In your case your struggle is with your health. This struggle seems to have caused you to face spiritual difficulties leading to discontent as you feel you have lost your sense of tawakul. It may seem like a hopelessness scenario on the surface, but alhamdulilah, the fact that even recognize the problem is a great start. The fact that you ha e noticed that this is what is making you feel so low and causing you to have some catastrophic thoughts puts you in a strong position to overcome this.

Right now you ar feeling very low and uncomfortable due to your health condition and lack of tawakkul. You can tackle this from both an Islamic and psychological approach that will, in sha Allah, help to change your thoughts and feelings and boost your eman and tawakkul.

From an Islamic standpoint we know that much is said relating to the trails that we face in this life. If we take these messages in board it becomes a lot easier to endure difficulties such as health problems for His sake. Keep the following brief points in mind when you ponder over your situation.

• Allah doesn’t test people beyond their capacity so feel confident in the knowledge that He Knows you are strong enough to get through this.
• For every pain and difficulty you experience as a result of your condition Allah will exercise His Mercy on you and forgive your sins. To endure life’s difficulties is a means of purification.
• Allah tests those He loves most. You only gave to look at the Prophet (saw) and the most beloved to Allah to see how much He tested them far beyond anything that we have to endure. Yet, these are those of our pious predecessors who will be granted the highest station in Jannah, in sha Allah.

Considering this wisdom behind why Allah causes us to suffer in one way or another can be a useful boost as you come to appreciate your trial for all the unseen positivities that they yield.

Another thing to consider is the thoughts and feelings you have regarding the matter and try and replace them with more realistic and positive ones. For example, you said ‘I am a bad person’. I want to challenge you to take a look at this statement alone to start with. What does it mean to be a bad person? And what exactly makes you think that you are a bad person? Are you always a bad person, or are you a good person sometimes too? Do others think you are a bad person? What does it mean to be a good person? Do you do things that a good person would do? If you saw someone or knew someone with a disease or even disability would you think that they are a bad person just because of their ailment? After you have consi3these things ask yourself again if you are a bad person. Challenge your other negative thoughts in this way also and you will soon come to realise firstly how erroneous your thoughts are, but also how your current thinking is making you feel so terrible about yourself.

In addition to how these thoughts about yourself are affecting how you feel they are also the thoughts that make developing tawakkul difficult. After all, how can you trust in Allah if you feel so worthless yourself. Once you start thinking more positively, realistically and rationally about yourself you will find that it is a lot easier to develop that tawakkul once more. This, along with more positive thoughts of Allah’s decree for you as listed above will be beneficial to you moving forward with more confidence and contentment with yourself and Allah’s plan.

May Allah grant you good health and the patience and strength to endure what He has ordained for you.