As-Salamu ‘Alaikum brother,
You are right to be concerned about having a hot temper. Having a hot temper can be very destructive for many reasons. It is definitely something you need to work on and it is commendable that you are seeking assistance to help you with this issue. Ma sha’ Allah, you have done a very admirable thing in making a start in helping yourself to overcome this problem by attending the mosque and mixing with good people who will be a positive influence on you. In sha’ Allah, this should really assist you in overcoming your hot temper.
There are many other things that you can do to manage a hot temper. Beginning with the Islamic perspective, we are advised that in anger we can do ablution. This almost serves to “extinguish the fire” so to speak. It will also serve as a reminder of Allah which can help to set your mind back on track. You will also then be in a good state to engage in acts of worship. Pray 2 rakats or read the Qur’an for 30 minutes; engage in dhikr to keep your commitment to Allah in mind and find comfort in his words. Furthermore, we are advised by the Prophet (saw) to sit if you are standing and lie if you are sitting when feeling angry.
Additionally, be mindful of your triggers. If there is something in particular that sets of your hot temper, then try your best to avoid being in those situations or if unavoidable then have a plan in mind as to how you will mange your heightened arousal when this event occurs. For example, you are aware that driving can be a trigger for you, so you could try keeping an audio CD of the Qur’an in your car that you can play whilst you are driving to have your mind occupied with something helpful and soothing. If you know your unavoidable triggers, like driving, then before you face these situations make sure you are cool and relaxed. Avoid heading out in your car if there is something bothering you. First tend to what is bothering you. Remember Allah and then head out in a cool state of mind.
May Allah help you to find comfort in remembrance of Him and guide you to overcome your hot temper.
Salam,
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