Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,

 

This sure is a tricky decision to make, especially when it feels like whatever choice you make will be at the cost of something. Ultimately, it is important to respect our elders and care for them, but you also want to start a family with your husband, work and see your family too which is difficult whilst under the roof of your in-laws, but if you leave your father in law is threatening to cut all ties.

 

The first thing to do in this situation is made istikhara and ask Allah to guide you to make the right decision. In the meantime take some time some seriously consider your options and their consequences. You might find it more convenient to write it down and it put visually where you can compare the options. It is an important decision that whatever choice you make will have ongoing consequences. Importantly, give it time. Once you make your decision, leave everything for a short time than a week or so later, reconsider your options. Maybe a better option will come to mind or circumstances have changed. During this process ensure to invoke your husband since whatever happens will affect him also.

 

If you do choose to stay perhaps you need to discuss some kind of compromise with your father-in-law, particularly regarding seeing your family and leaving work. For example, perhaps it’s possible for you to cut down to part-time work so you can be at home more, but he has to be willing to allow you to see your family more often. At present, it seems he is quite unwilling to compromise so it may be that it would better to approach him with someone else who he may be more responsive to including your husband or a family member or friend that he is close to.

 

May Allah guide you to make the decision that will be best for you and your family.