As salamu Alaikum sister,

Thank you for writing to our live session. Please do not be embarrassed. What you are going through is quite normal, natural and human. As you are not married, you have nowhere to channel your sexual desires. This is a very common problem among people who are not married. It is not a bad thing, or a sinful thing- it is a human thing to have sexual feelings.

 

Sexuality is a Human Feeling

I kindly ask insha’Alah, that you look at this as an indication of being a healthy woman. Having to perform ghusl twice a day may be a bit troublesome, in that it is time-consuming.  However, may Allah bless you for your efforts in purity. If you were married sister, you may still have to perform ghusl a few times a day as you will be having sexual relations with your husband insha’Allah. These are the things that we must do in order to purify ourselves. Well at times it may seem cumbersome to our worship, please do know that it is required and you will be blessed for your concern about being pure whether you are married or single.

 

Diversion Techniques

Sister until you get married, I will kindly suggest that when these feelings come upon you, that you can engage in an activity to get your mind off of what your body is feeling. Divert your attention perhaps to a job task, household chore, reading Qur’an, or making duaa.  Invoking thoughts and actions that are far removed from feeling sexual desire will help you insha’Allah to better control it. It may be difficult at first because feeling sexual desire is often times like feeling hunger pains or thirst. It is a biological natural sensation. It is what we do with these feelings that matters. If you focus on these feelings and feed into them they could grow. As you are not married right now, there is nowhere for these feelings to go. There is no release. So for now until you are married I will kindly suggest that you try diversion techniques. Again, what is important is drawing closer to Allah, reciting Qur’an and doing dzhhir. There are many reliefs and blessings in acts of worship.  By increasing acts of worship, your sexual feelings may just start to diminish (so they are manageable)  until you are married. Please do insha’Allah, seek out a suitable marriage partner if possible. Make duaa to Allah that He bless you with a husband soon.

 

Seek Marriage

Feeling sexual desire is just your body’s way of saying you need to be married which of course you already know. Insha’Allah, these techniques will work for you. It may take some time, consistency, and determination. Insha’Allah once you do marry, your desires will still be there however they will be satisfied correctly- in halal way which is within the marriage. We wish you the best you’re in our prayers.