Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh brother,

 

May Allah reward your struggle to please Him. What you are experiencing is t unusual. We all experience some difficulty or another in perfect ting our Deen. Some may struggle with their eman, some struggle with reading Qur’an and some with maintaining focus in salah. This is normal and is all part of the test. When experiencing these difficulties it’s easy to just feel like giving up. This is also normal. The hard part is to keep going when it feels like things will never get any better.

 

You struggle with dyslexia which is making learning the Qur’an a challenge for you. The good news is the Allah rewards by intention. Your intentions are pure – to learn to read properly, yet you feel like you are making little progress due to your dyslexia.  Remember that just because someone can read perfectly even though they spend less time practicing than you does not make them any better than you or mean that their reward will be greater. In fact, the fact that you have struggled hard to read only 1 line will be rewarded even more. Just because others can’t see your efforts and struggles, doesn’t mean Allah can’t,  because He can! Use this as a motivation to keep pushing. It makes take you longer, but with persistence and prayer, you will get there, in sha Allah.

 

Continue to reach out to Allah, ask Him for help, cry to Him even and keep at it. Look to the struggles of those before us, especially Musa (AS) who succeeded despite a speech impediment. Just because he had a speech impediment, it did not mean that Allah did not love him. Quite the opposite in fact! It is said that Allah tests those He loves most. Your test is your struggle with dyslexia, but the good news is that this doesn’t have to stop you doing everything that you want to, because you can.

 

What you can also try from a practical perspective is to try alternative ways of learning that might make things easier for you. If you are struggling with learning, try writing notes as you are listening to lectures and refer back to them. Perhaps you will even be able to answer them yourself. If you still can’t then you can always ask someone of knowledge to help you out. As someone with dyslexia, perhaps you may even prefer to record your notes rather than write them down. Use the recorder function on your phone to do this. Perhaps pause the video every 5-10 minutes and record a voice summary. Another option may be to draw diagrams so you don’t have to rely too heavily on writing lots of words. This is a good technique for visual learners.

 

Regarding having multiple questions, try writing them down as they come to mind first. You may find that you answer them all by yourself as you listen to more lectures. It is ok to have questions. If you don’t have questions it’s difficult to fully understand everything. If you don’t ask, you won’t come to know the answer always. However, your fear of kafir is understandable as asking too many questions can be seen like this. To overcome this, you begin by writing them down as suggested, then when you go back to them, ask yourself if it is really important for you to know the answer and if it will benefit you. If not, then simply erase it and leave it without questioning anymore.