As salam Alaykum,

Thank you for writing to our live session and for providing more detailed information. As it is normal for some to move out of their parents home at 16 in your country, and your parents are supportive, insha’Allah it will be beneficial to you especially since you will be attending another school. It sounds like you have things for your future planned out quite well sister.  You sound very mature and focused on your studies alhumdulilah!

As far as your friend, even though she is 18, she is still being abused and is in a dangerous situation. May Allah reward you for trying to help her.  She is blessed to have a wonderful friend such as you.  It is often times the case that a mom who is being abused as well does not want to be left alone with the abuser (her husband). Even if she may think this is normal behavior, it still hurts and it is still scary.  As you stated her brother is away at a university studying, your friend’s mom would be alone.  However, this should not stop your friend from getting help as soon as possible to get out of this abusive and dangerous situation. Insha’Allah she may be able to get her mom help as well.  As we love our mom’s very much, we do not want to leave them or see them being hurt or abused however in your friend’s situation perhaps by her taking the first step, her mom might follow.

Often times sister, when you have not seen a healthy marital relationship, or you come from a home or even society wherein abuse of women is over-looked or accepted, it may become to be to think it is a “normal” situation, but it is not.  The Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) never beat his wives, in fact, he said “The best among you is the one who treats his family the best, and I am the one who treats his family the best.”   In a hadith by Bhukhari, it is said that the Prophet said: “How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then sleeps with her at night?”.  These words should be taken very seriously by Muslim men they will be accountable for all of the despicable violence that they do to women (their wives).  Allah created marriage to be a love and mercy between two people, not a life of hell and abuse.

Insha’Allah dear sister you will be able to help your friend and save her through the mercy of Allah from this tragic situation.  You are in our prayers dear sister, both of you are.  Please let us know if you are successful in getting your friend some help.