Transforming Emotional Pain: A Real Life Example
An example of one of my clients will shed more light on the potential power of this approach.
Rabia, a nurse in her forties, had been experiencing years of family stress, as well as past physical and emotional abuse from a close uncle. She was feeling a lack of self-worth.
Her emotional burdens were weighing her down, and she was experiencing frequent headaches.
In the video session, Rabia expressed feeling a deep sadness and helplessness.
As I worked with her, inviting her with eyes closed, to feel these experiences in the body, she began to slowly open into an intense feeling of despair.
The temptation was to push the despair back down, but she courageously stayed with it.
As she fully accepted it and let herself open up into it, the despair gradually moved through her.
Rabia finally opened up to a liberating experience of hopefulness, of feeling worthwhile, and of being loved.
The shift from sadness and helplessness to hopefulness and love came with the release of a lot of tears, as the pain she had been holding onto fell away.
It took about half an hour in this instance, and she went through several emotional layers—some
very intense.
The time period can vary, and we may need support, but the shift only occurs when we stay fully present and accepting of what is, even when that changes.
The following day, Rabia’s headaches were noticeably diminished, and she felt energized and
more motivated.
While we had done some additional therapeutic work in the session described above, the foundation was the feeling of and acceptance of emotions that arose.
Meaning and Wholeness
The “negative” emotions Rabia experienced this as having a healing power, which was only revealed through the radical honesty of what she authentically felt in her body.
Her negative feelings were thus a doorway that opened into the gift of peace. Additionally, she gained insights and meaning regarding her past.
By feeling the storm within, we let it do its work on us, and our inner world is purified.
By giving ourselves permission to feel all our emotions, we become more integrated, whole
human beings, journeying towards Insan-i Kamil.
We also more readily gain greater understanding of the meaning behind our experiences the why that grounds and enriches our day-to-day lives.
Supporting Others
Feelings of anxiety, loneliness, depression, despair, and so forth, can genuinely be debilitating.
If we know anyone experiencing them, we might help by being non-judgmentally present and accepting of that person—without trying to “solve their problem” nor minimising what they are
feeling.
Listening with acceptance can support them in know it is okay to feel what is there. That
alone can be healing.
Our Own Journey
If we ourselves experience strong negative emotions by giving ourselves permission to feel that experience in our body, we open a door—a door that can turn the inner pain into a remedy.
As Rumi tells us in his beautiful poem, The Guest House, “sweeps our house empty of its furniture.. cleaning you out for some neu delight…”
Coupled with the common practices in the Islamic tradition, such as salat, quran, fasting, zakat, du’ad, and so forth, we have a strong foundation for inner resilience and a sense of connection in
turbulent times.
To help us on our journey, there may be times when we may benefit from professional psychological support, especially when we have experienced past abuse or trauma.
If so, it is important to acknowledge this and reach out. There may also be instances when we need to address outer disharmony or injustice.
We can do this with greater presence when we have the means and patience for fully facing our inner world—when we can open ourselves to and trust in the Divine intelligence that dissolves barriers, and lets the essence shine through.
Note: The names and certain personal details of any client mentioned in this article has been changed to honor their privacy.
This article is from our archives.