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What Should I Do If I Get Bullied?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Sep 04, 2017

Question

I am a 19-year-old Muslim, My question is: near my house, there are a lot of non-Muslim youth gatherings day and night and they are bullying me. Is there in surah to make them away from my house surroundings as I feel uncomfortable? I have low self-esteem and my parents also put me down. Thank you.

Counselor

Answer


What Should I Do If I Get Bullied?

In this counseling answer:

I would advise you to speak up about the bullies and let them know that your strength in the right direction is stronger than their strength in the wrong direction. Work towards making yourself a stronger person, such that no-one can break you down.


As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear brother,

I am sorry to hear of the situation you are in right now. The Quran is definitely the solution to every problem. However, the Prophet (saw) told us to place our faith in Allah (swt) and tie our camels. Remember, Allah (swt) does not change the situation of people until they change themselves.

Is it not possible to reach to a person of authority and ask them to move the gatherings? I am aware that in India there are lots of teens and men on the streets who like to tease others. However, you also have the ability to stand up for yourself. You must let your parents know so that they can take the appropriate measures to ensure your security. They can potentially get the police involved. You should not simply sit and wait. Don’t wait for them to move away themselves easily! You must take an action!

There is a hadeeth about Ayat Al-Kursi (Quran 2: 255) being a protection for the believers.

“Allah’s Messenger ordered me to guard the Zakat revenue of Ramadan. Then somebody came to me and started stealing from the foodstuff. I caught him and said, “I will take you to Allah’s Messenger!” Then Abu Huraira described the whole narration and said: That person said (to me), “(Please don’t take me to Allah’s Messenger and I will tell you a few words by which Allah will benefit you.) When you go to your bed, recite Ayat-al-Kursi, (2.255) for then there will be a guard from Allah who will protect you all night long, and Satan will not be able to come near you till dawn.” (When the Prophet heard the story) he said (to me), “He (who came to you at night) told you the truth although he is a liar; and it was Satan.” (Bukhari)

It is also mentioned:

“Allah has not created in the heavens nor in the earth what is more magnificent than Ayat Al-Kursi.” Sufyan said: “Because Ayat Al-Kursi is the Speech of Allah, and Allah’s Speech is greater than Allah’s creation of the heavens and the earth.” (Tirmidhi)

Therefore, read this verse as much as possible.

Lastly, please do not feel anxious and frustrated! Life is beautiful and there are many ways to overcome such feelings and thoughts. You need to be strong and active. Do not give the illusion that you are weak and passive. Seek help and guidance from Allah (swt).

 “The Prophet used to say, “O Allah! I seek refuge with You from helplessness, laziness, cowardice and feeble old age; I seek refuge with You from afflictions of life and death and seek refuge with You from the punishment in the grave.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Therefore, I urge you to seek help from the local security and not stress over the situation. Remember, it is possible that the individuals who bully you are also giving a hard time to others.

At the same time, your health is important. Rather than focusing on what the problem is, focus on how to seek a solution for the betterment. Stay positive!

In addition, please do not make life revolve around the fact that you are being bullied. You need to realize your purpose in life. When you are walking down on the beach, you can see the beautiful view around you. You can focus on that. Or you can focus on the tiny scratch that you experienced while walking and stepping on a tiny stone.

Life only becomes miserable and hard when you focus on its imperfections. You need to realize that there is more to life than the imperfections that you see.

Think about this for a second. Imagine two trees. You see one which is strong, and the other which is feeble and droopy. Which one will be easy for you to break down? Obviously the feeble and droopy one. I am sure that you wouldn’t even think of attacking the strong one. The bullies are the same. If you make them feel that their behavior affects you, then you are making them stronger and yourself weaker.

To make yourself stronger, you need to see the strength in yourself.

  1. Avoid negative self-talk.
  2. Connect with people who love you.
  3. Learn to speak up!
  4. Indulge in activities that you are good at

In conclusion, I would advise you to speak up about the bullies and let them know that your strength in the right direction is stronger than their strength in the wrong direction. Work towards making yourself a stronger person, such that no-one can break you down.

I hope my answer provided the answer you were seeking and I pray that Allah (swt) eases your situation for you.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

5 Tips to Cope with Bullying & Intimidation

A Perfectionist’s Scars of Bullying

Daydreams & Anxiety because of Bullying

 




About Madiha Sadaf

Madiha Sadaf in an undergraduate student at the University of Ottawa, enrolled in BSc. with Major in Biology and Psychology with Minor in Health Social Sciences.

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