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What to Do If I’m Treated Badly in a Group?

22 January, 2022
Q How to overcome bad group threat?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

You may choose to remove yourself, if possible, from the environment or totally ignore the threats that are going on as long as they are not physical or inflicting mental anguish that you cannot deal with.

If they are physical threats, call the police or contact someone in authority (your boss or the school director).

You may also wish to participate in community-based conflict resolution with the parties who are inflicting the group threat.

Please always ensure your safety.


As salamu alaykum brother,

I am not really sure how to respond to your question brother because you did not provide much information however I will do my best. May Allah guide me in these responses.

Bad Group Threats

You stated that you needed to know how to overcome bad group threats. I understand this to possibly mean bullying. I am not clear if this is happening in your community, at work, or in some other environment. However, despite where it is happening it is a serious issue.

Considering Bullying

Group threats and/or bullying usually arise from school situations. The threats are usually in alignment with making fun of somebody, saying mean things, threatening to harm them, actually harming, or other threats that one conjures up to provoke, or insinuate as harm.

Depending upon the situation there are several things you may wish to consider.

Possible Resolutions

If these are group threats in the nature of name-calling, insults, and/or criticisms, you may choose to remove yourself, if possible, from the environment or totally ignore the threats that are going on as long as they are not physical or inflicting mental anguish that you cannot deal with.

Physical Threats

If you are being physically threatened you have the options of informing your boss if it is occurring at work, a university official if it is happening at a university, or the police if it is happening in the community.

Conflict Resolution

You may also wish to participate in community-based conflict resolution with the parties who are inflicting the group threat.

In order for this to be successful however the people who are doing this have to be of some sound mind and logic.

A lot of organizations offer conflict resolution between parties as it is very effective and resolving disputes. To take this route you may need a third party such as a counselor, community, school, or work representative to initiate the process.

Power and Control

Those who threaten others obtain a sense of power from it. In sha Allah, you do know that bullying and threats have nothing to do with you, but do have a lot to say about the ones who are doing the bullying/threatening.

The recommendation to ignore it in mild situations often results in a loss of power and control over you for those who are threatening. When bullying and threatening others does not get a response, it tends to stop over time. However, please do assess your own personal situation to determine what is the best course of action for you.

Staying Safe

Whatever route you take depending on your situation, please always ensure your safety. If you fear getting harmed, please do notify the police. Until this situation is resolved, be mindful when you travel, and always let a family member know your whereabouts.

Conclusion

Brother, please pray to Allah for protection and guidance. Ask Allah to help you make the right decisions to resolve the situation. Please review our tips and suggestions.

Insha’Allah will provide some help regarding your situation.

Lastly, please do contact your local organization regarding bullying. For instance, in the USA, there is an organization called Stop Bullying, which offers many resources and help. Please see if there is one in your area.

We wish you the best.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general. They are purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.