I am glad you benefitted from my response, sister. Your next steps to take will be addressed based on your statements above.
You said, “Many times, when fighting on silly things, I told him to break up so that we can leave each other, but he always contacts me the next day and says that he cannot live without me. “
Firstly, you do not need to find just any reason to end communication. You can use the true substantial one you already have! This relationship has no benefit and is not going to lead to marriage at this time. Furthermore, the brother, as you said, is not aligned with your understanding of Islam.
Secondly, although I am sure you are very special sister, he can live without you. He is simply expressing his attachment. When you miss someone and feel stressed in general, humans look for “contact comfort.” It does not mean we are necessarily in love. The reality is that it is not your responsibility to help him cope with moving on, but you must prioritize coping within yourself.
You also said “I’m really scared of losing him because I told everyone about him. If I broke up with him, what will people say?”
Do you worship people? Are people going to assess you on the day you meet your Lord and God Almighty asks you about your life choices and actions? Nope. Do not be the prisoner of people by worrying about them that much. Sure, social conventions should be regarded but not when it comes to our existential salvation! People always move on, and your life is not the center of everyone’s attention.
You said “But I don’t know what to do”
Here are your next steps to move on properly with dignity, in sha’ Allah.
- Stop contacting him.
- Reflect on the things that bothered you to make moving on easier.
- Erase emails/texts that come from him; don’t even bother reading them! It would only make things harder and drag on.
- Get rid of anything in your room/home that reminds you of him, especially things he gave you.
- Surround yourself with good company/friends/family. They will make you feel better and keep you socially busy. You are more likely to meet someone new and better when you socialize and are with good company.
- Get back into your hobbies and interests; this helps you reconnect with who you are.
- Read and or listen to Qur’an daily as it is a cure for the pain.
- Make du’aa’ with sincerity and trust that God will send you someone better when you are ready.
- Take this as a learning experience and be glad it ended when it did; it could have been a lot worse!
God bless you sister on your journey. I am confident you will be fine because you put first things first and chose God; only blessings will follow with God’s permission!
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