But the cultural practice of my home country does not allow a woman to be older than the man.
I am scared that his parents will not permit the marriage, yet we love each other. Thank you.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
Age difference is simply a matter of culture and is not a part of Islam.
• In Islam, there are no restrictions on who you can marry due to their age.
• You could arrange a meeting between the 2 families and let his parents see that you are a good person for their son.
• Take the time to consider different options carefully and make istikhara.
As-Salamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuh,
Often cultural differences get in the way of the couple marrying for one reason or another.
In this case, you are concerned that his family will not support the marriage as you are a bit older than him.
Such a marriage is, therefore, not congruent with your culture.
No restrictions due to spouse age
This is simply a matter of culture and is not a part of Islam.
In Islam, at your ages, there are no restrictions on who you can marry due to their age, besides a 5-year gap is not that much of a gap.
You could still go ahead with the marriage even if they don’t agree with it.
However, there may be consequences if they don’t support it that will make things difficult from the start of your marriage.
The first thing to do is to bring it to them. Perhaps they will accept it after all.
The best thing you can do to give this potential marriage more of a chance is to bring the proposal to them in the best way that lets them see that you are a good person for their son.
Inshallah, they will be happy and comfortable for him to spend his life with you.
Arrange a meeting
To do this, you could arrange a meeting between the 2 families so that they can also see that you come from a good family too.
If they are happy that their son is marrying a good wife from a good family then they will be more likely to accept the proposal regardless of age.
Pursuing marriage in the correct way like this may also make them more lily to agree too.
If they support it, then alhamdulillah, but if they don’t then you need to make the decision.
Marry this person anyway and be prepared to face the potential consequences from his family, or forget the marriage and go your separate ways.
Check out this counseling video:
Make istikhara
Take the time to consider these options carefully and make istikhara that Allah will guide you to do what’s best.
May Allah guide you and grant you a righteous spouse that will be the coolness of your eyes in this life and the next.
Salaam,
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