He told me she is much younger and prettier and I do not have any value anymore. In addition, I have recently been diagnosed with a genetic disease which is life threatening for any child I might have. I am currently also unemployed. Everyone around me friends neighbors seem to be leading a happy normal life.
How am I supposed to move on when I feel like my life is pretty much a waste? I have tried to help people and in return, they have hurt me. I do not know how to move on or just even survive. All I feel is anger, pain, resentment and hate.
Any advice would be highly appreciated.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•Please call the Suicide Prevention hotline in your area.
•I kindly suggest that you start a journal and write down your feelings daily. I would also ask you to write down the positive points about yourself, something nice about your looks, your accomplishments, the nice things you do for people and so forth.
•You are going through at least four huge major life stressors. Please seek help from a professional counselor.
As-salaam alaikum sister,
I am so sorry to hear about what has transpired in your life and the way you are feeling. I can imagine that you feel lost right now. I am so sorry about your precious sister, may Allah grant her Jannah and you and your family ease.
A Series of Major Traumatic Events
As your sister passed away recently, you must still be grieving in the early stages. This is the hardest part, please try to surround yourself with nurturing people and go to Allah with your tears, Allah is most merciful towards us.
To make matters worse, you indicated that your husband has applied for a divorce. He has been having an affair with someone a lot younger. I am not clear on how long you been married to your husband or how old he is. I don’t know how old this woman is that he is with, because you are only 25, what is she, 15? Your pain and hurt regarding this is understandable dear sister, what is not is your husband’s cruelty and infantile perceptions.
You are a Blessing and a Pearl
Sister, you have very much to live for. You have a lot of value and I am sure you are quite beautiful and pious. People can be so misguided, cruel and selfish. Often times they do not know when they have a good woman. It is only until they lose her that they understand. I have a feeling your husband is going to be in for a very harsh and rude awakening in the near future.
Healing Steps
Sister, I kindly suggest that you start a journal and write down your feelings daily. I would also ask you to write down the positive points about yourself, something nice about your looks, your accomplishments, the nice things you do for people and so forth.
Often times it is hard to see the good in ourselves when we have been beaten down so much. You have experienced so much loss; your sister’s death, your husband is leaving, and now the diagnosis of a genetic disease which may be life threatening for your child should you get pregnant.
In times of hardship, we often forget to focus on what is good. The negative that is going on can overtake us, and that is what seems to be happening right now. I am concerned, however, because you are going through at least four huge major life stressors. Inshallah, I pray to Allah that you can move past these negative points and see the beauty that is you that He created, and the positive things that you will have in the future.
I understand that at this moment you may not even be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Please remember it is not the hope of the light that is an illusion, but the tunnel itself.
Check out this counseling video
Seeking Counseling
Sister, please do seek counseling in your area. Insha’Allah try to be around sisters who are uplifting and supportive of you during this difficult time. Make duaa to Allah to grant you ease and bless your steps towards healing. If you feel like harming yourself, please call the Suicide Prevention hotline in your area.
You are precious; never doubt that for a moment. Please let us know how you are doing,
Salam,
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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