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Is Having Sexual Thoughts of Absent Husband Sinful?

16 June, 2019
Q As-salamu `alaykum. I want to ask about the sexually thinking about the husband and wife; if the husband is far away and the wife thinks about him sexually and can't control herself and she is in nikah, can she think and do action also for herself? I mean in bed with pillow and kissing the private parts and think about that? And also, please, tell me about the games; I play games on Facebook, some pictures are animated and their private parts are invisible and whole body is visible? Can I play these games? Also, many cartoons are like that; can we watch them?


Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

In this fatwa:

1- It is not recommended for spouses to live apart from each other for a long time, which would negatively affect both the marital life and children’s upbringing.

2- So, both of them should do their best to live together in one house to best protect their social and marital life.

3- As for your question, the practices you mentioned should be avoided though they may be allowed only if a spouse fears of indulging in a major sin (zina).

Answering your question, Dr. Wael Shehab, PhD in Islamic Studies from Al-Azhar University and currently the Imam of the Downtown Toronto Masjid in Canada, states:

Thank you for your question.

Both the husband and wife should take care of their emotional, physical and psychological needs.

It is, therefore, not advisable for a husband to live away from his wife, especially for long periods.

A husband is highly recommended to have his wife with him in long travels or to regularly visit her, if he couldn’t have her with him for any considerable reasons.

So, the wife in question is advised to speak with her husband and think of workable solutions to bring them together in the marital life. She may travel to him or he may come back to live with her.

Excessive indulgence in sexual thoughts and practices – you stated in the question – may negatively affect her, though she may do this if she fears falling into committing major sins.

As for games, pictures, drawings, or cartoons that show private parts of the body, a Muslim is not allowed to play or look at such things.

May Allah accept your and our good deeds!

Almighty Allah knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.