Q I believe Islam is a religion of emancipation. I believe it eradicated racism. But then why did traditional scholars give fatwas where it seems Islam supports sexism? I felt so hurt when I read those fatwas, especially the ones where it says that a wife can't even go out without her husband's permission! How is this not treating a woman as a slave? Allah has created woman as a full human being, but then how do such fatwas make sense? 1. Almost all scholars said that wives can't go outside without their husband's permission, and as a reason they gave safety. Does Islam really say that a wife can't go out without her husband's permission? (Here, I am not asking about the necessity of going out.) 2. If we say that the reason behind this is protection, then nowadays we have a social security system which was not available earlier. Apparent safety is assumed. In such a case, can a husband now really have the 'right' to prevent his wife from going outside? On fatwa websites, they beat around the bush, like → she can go outside for necessities like visiting doctors, etc., even without permission. But what about just going outside and having a cup of tea with a friend? Isn't it an emotional necessity? Isn't moving freely a basic human need? 3. Nowadays, when almost everywhere there are women working, having careers, and pursuing education, so in such a situation, if a husband prevents her from this, how doesn't it contradict the verse where Allah asked them to treat the wife in accordance with 'urf? 4. Actually, how much is the right of the husband? When I read the fatwas, it seemed that the wife is a second-class citizen. I really want to know. I felt suffocated; I found no answer. I swallowed my question. 5. Suppose if I can financially sponsor my studies, then can the husband prevent me from studying or going to university? If his rights are related to his financial responsibility, then can he prevent me in this case? 6. What if he 'really' feels that going to some university is 'bad' for me, but I find it better for me? Now, if I choose it, will I be called 'disobedient'? How do we reconcile the right of a qawwam with his duty? 7. Most importantly, when I searched on fatwa websites, they gave so much importance to the fact that the husband will be providing financially. And that is why he has the right to prevent his wife. Some even said he can prevent her from going to her parents' house! But on the other hand, when they describe the nafaqa that a husband is required to provide, that doesn't actually include so much: basic food, basic dress, and a basic house, which a lady can easily afford nowadays. Though they said that the husband is required to treat her with kindness. But this is something which cannot be enforced by the court, right? I mean, you can't prove your kindness or emotional harshness to any human. So why would a woman even dare to get married when, in this relationship, the only guaranteed thing for her is basic nafaqa (as society is much more secure now, the husband doesn't need to provide physical security either), and in lieu of that, she will need to leave the freedom of living her life in her own way? 8. Moreover, many scholars also say the husband will be the last one to take a decision in a dispute. Why is this? Is this just because he provides nafaqa? Why would a woman even dare to get married and put her ambitions at stake? Allah created us as free human beings. Then why does the role and position of a wife (that I got to know from many scholars) seem to be more like a prisoner? If you cannot go outside without someone else's permission, then what is your difference from a prisoner? I could not find peace in my mind. Such fatwas made me suffocate. I am scared of marriage. I don't want to ever get to be a mother of a daughter. Because it is so tough to endure such fatwas. If you gave some detailed reply, perhaps many more women like me would get some peace. No doubt Allah is FAIR. But many fatwas made me depressed. I could not understand the fairness when I read those fatwas. Then somehow I calmed my mind. But slowly, I have become very depressed. I really want to know: how is a wife not a second-class citizen? If someone's each and every thing can be dictated by someone else, how is she different from a slave? And moreover, many contemporary scholars say that this will be implied only in the case of household (family matters), where the husband is the last decision-maker. But if I am in a family, I am giving my 100% to that home, I left my parents and started living with this man, but still his decision is the last? Why? Just because he will earn the bread and butter? Then why would one girl even dare to marry? How much is the ACTUAL right of the husband in family matters?