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Do I Have to Perform `Umrah With My Husband’s Family?

29 June, 2026
Q I’ve been married for five years. Alhamdulillah, we are happy. I’ve never been to Umrah or Saudi Arabia before. I’ve been wanting to go with my husband and our kids (ages 5 and 3). Every time I bring it up, he only wants to go at a time when his whole family can join. We live in the UK, his parents are in Pakistan, and his siblings are in different countries. When I tell him I don’t want to perform Umrah with his whole family, he gets upset and says he wants to bring his parents too, even though they have already performed Hajj and Umrah. Because of this, my Umrah keeps getting delayed. We both work and earn, so I’m not relying on him financially. But I’m hurt because I’m being made to wait for everyone else, and he says we will need to cover some of his parents' travel costs. He claims taking his parents will make childcare easier, but I’d rather use the childcare services in Saudi Arabia for a day or two and go just as a couple. It would make traveling easier, and I wouldn’t have to share spaces with his brother-in-law or worry about observing hijab around non-mahrams throughout the trip. His behavior is worrying me. He’s being passive-aggressive, and I feel guilty for not agreeing, but I don’t want to go with his whole family. There will likely be issues—his sister also has two small kids, we all have different mindsets, and small arguments are likely. For our first Umrah, I want to use our own savings and go alone as a couple. He hasn’t gone before either. Please advise on the Islamic ruling—do I have to agree to this or not? I can’t go alone without a mahram, but do I have to go with his whole family? JazakAllah. Please reply as soon as possible. I hope to show him the response so we can go before Ramadan this year, in shaa Allah.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


In this fatwa:

A wife is not required to delay her first ʿUmrah or travel with her husband’s extended family if she and her husband are able to perform it together safely and modestly. Islam requires a Maḥram for travel, not the presence of in-laws or shared accommodations. Learn the Islamic ruling on balancing family responsibilities with fulfilling the obligation of worship.


Responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

You are not required to delay your first `Umrah to accommodate your husband’s family plans. If there is a safe and modest way for you to travel together, your husband should support your worship rather than postpone it due to logistical concerns.

Many respected scholars assert that `Umrah is an obligation once in a lifetime for those who are able. When a woman has the means and a suitable way to travel—especially with her husband as her Mahram—fulfilling the right of Allah takes precedence. Thus, delaying her journey without a valid reason is unnecessary.

Your situation is clear: this will be your first `Umrah together. You are capable of going and wish to do so with your husband in a way that maintains modesty and minimizes stress, which is fully compliant with Shari`ah.

Additionally, you are not required to travel with your in-laws. Islam mandates safe travel with a Mahram, not shared accommodations or constant proximity to extended family. Seeking privacy and upholding proper Hijab during worship is reasonable and not selfish.

You are also not obligated to finance your in-laws’ `Umrah. If your husband chooses to assist his parents, that is commendable, but it should not be a prerequisite for your worship and should not be imposed on you.

While his desire to honor his parents is admirable, it should not delay your shared act of worship or create tension in your marriage.

A fair solution is simple: complete your first `Umrah together in modest, dignified arrangements, and later, when the time is right, plan a separate trip with his parents.

Traveling now, together and respectfully, is not sinful. It is a sincere response to Allah’s call while still honoring family and marriage.

May Allah soften hearts, alleviate strain, and grant you a blessed ʿUmrah filled with mercy and Barakah.

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Almighty Allah knows best.

About Sheikh Ahmad Kutty
Sheikh Ahmad Kutty is a Senior Lecturer and an Islamic Scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada