What to Do About No Marriage Proposal?

14 March, 2020
Q As-salamu `alaykum. I'm a 22-year-old female living in a Muslim country. I've always been sexually frustrated for as long as I can remember, to the point where it's literally all I can think about. I'm a kind person, decent looking and decent in my deen, but I've never received a single marriage proposal. My parents don't know anyone and they don't believe in looking for a husband because a woman is supposed to wait for the man and make duaa. I believe in duaa but I also believe God wants us to help ourselves. I'm reaching a point of desperation as I feel so lonely and sexually frustrated that I regret not dating the men I could have dated but didn't for fear of Allah. I feel like I might as well give up and sleep with someone because why should I wait? I feel as though I'm getting nowhere just waiting. Socially, there's not much I can do as we don't mix with men and culturally men find wives. I'm losing hope in my ability to wait. I make a lot of du`a' every day. Please, advise.


Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

In this fatwa:

1- We, from the deepest of our hearts, implore Allah Almighty to grant you a good practicing Muslim husband in the nearest future.

2- As long as we are concerned, you should not lose hope. Rather, be sure of Allah’s promise in the Quran to reply to those who call Him.

3- Practically speaking, from your part you should take steps such as participating in social gatherings in your community.

4- Also, your parents, family members and friends should do something recommending you to those good young men seeking marriage; that is not forbidden, either in the Shariah or traditions.

5- However, you are still too young to be frustrated of getting married. This can be acceptable of those who exceed their thirties.

Answering your question about not receiving a marriage proposal, Dr. Wael Shehab, PhD in Islamic Studies from Al-Azhar University and currently the Imam of the Downtown Toronto Masjid in Canada, states:

I ask Allah Almighty to bless you and help you preserve your faith and honor, amen.

Sister, don’t give up making duaa and seeking Allah’s blessings and help.  In shaa’ Allah, He Most High will bless you and make you happy in this world and in the Afterlife.

The Quran teaches Muslims to make duaa and say, {Our Lord! Grant to us from our spouses and our offspring comfort (to) our eyes, and make us for the righteous a leader.} (Al-Furqan 25:74)

It’s not wrong for parents and relatives to recommend good husbands for their daughters. So, I think your parents and family members could be of help in finding good practicing Muslims looking for good sisters for marriage.

In every community, young Muslims, who look for prospective wives, seek the help of parents, family members, and friends. So, parents and relatives of unmarried sisters should help in connecting good brothers with good practicing sisters.

Social events and gatherings are so important too. People and families are Islamically recommended to know each other, and this is one of the means to facilitate marriage.

Allah Almighty says in the Quran, {O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.} (Al-Hujurat 49:13)

Sister, please keep on preserving your faith and honor. Maintain a good relationship with Allah. Never lose hope in gaining Allah’s blessings and favors in this world and in the Afterlife.

May Allah accept your and our good deeds!

Almighty Allah knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.

About Dr. Wael Shehab
Dr. Wael Shehab has a PhD in Islamic Studies from Al-Azhar University. He is currently the Imam of the Downtown Toronto Masjid in Canada.