Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Breaking an Engagement in Islam

18 November, 2023
Q I have got engaged to a girl by my parents’ agreement 1 year ago but I have not fixed any date of marriage yet. Recently I got to know that the girl I used to like some years ago got married 1 year ago and divorced within a year recently. How can I approach my parents to ask the girl I liked the most for marriage?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


In this fatwa:

  • If you are already engaged to someone, you are not allowed to break it on the pretext that you found another girl you used to love.
  • You are allowed to break the engagement only if you do not like the girl for valid reasons such as a serious character flaw or breach of trust, etc.

Responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

If you are already engaged to someone, you are not allowed to break it on the pretext that you found another girl you used to love.

Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Your engagement was a promise you made with the girl to marry her. 

So, it would be best if you kept your promise as best as you can.

As Muslims, we are to be faithful to our promises. Allah describes the faithful: “They are the ones who are committed to their trust and pledges.”  (Al-Mu’minun 23: 8)

However, if you have valid reasons to think that you cannot bring yourself to like her as she is not what you thought she was, then you may reconsider. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “If a person of sound faith and good character proposes, marry him; otherwise, you may paving the road for the spread of corruption.” (At-Tirmidhi)

In the hadith, the Prophet pointed out sound faith and character as the most important criteria for accepting a marriage proposal. So, if you found her to be lacking in character, then you are allowed to break up the engagement.

Marriage is a long term partnership; it is intended to be a relationship based on mutual affection, and love; only then one could reap the fruits of a successful marriage, which according to the Quran is nothing short of peace and tranquility.

Allah says, “Among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves for you to relate with them in peace and He has implanted in your hearts love, and affection; verily, in these are signs for those who reflect.”  (Ar-Rum 30: 21)

In conclusion, you are allowed to break the engagement only if you do not like the girl for valid reasons such as a serious character flaw or breach of trust, etc.

If you have no reason other than the fact that you liked her in the past, that is not a valid reason for breaking a contract or word you have given.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “There are three signs for a hypocrite: If he speaks, he lies; if he promises, he breaks; if he is trusted, he cheats.”

Therefore, I would urge you to consider whether you are justified in breaking the engagement or not.

Almighty Allah knows best.