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My Husband Looks at Beautiful Women Online; Help!

08 May, 2023
Q Salaam, I am feeling very insecure about myself.

My husband who is a practicing Muslim told me not to wear any make up or beautify myself outside the house. I listened to him, I researched into Islam and I have stopped beautifying myself and now wear a hijab.

I can’t help but miss my old self who would wear make-up and dress up. Recently I found online that my husband has been looking at girls on social media. They are modest dressed girls but with their hair out and make up on. I feel it is unacceptable for him to look at other women in make-up etc I , as his wife, I am protecting my beauty for him only and he is looking at other beautiful women online.

I confronted him about this and he said he was just being curious and looked at their profile accounts. He has since apologized and said he won’t do it again but I can’t help but still worry this will happen again. Sometimes I notice him glancing at a non Muslim women and then he looks away. I never get any attention or affection from him.

Please can I get some advice, I feel extremely anxious over this and not sure who to turn to.

Answer

You stopped wearing nice clothes and make-up as your husband asked you to do so.

Now, you feel insecure about yourself because your husband does not look at you but at other women. Check out Sr. Aisha’s advice!

Following the Islamic dress code will not necessarily prevent you from feeling good about your outlook.

If your husband glances at other women, it might tell you more about his insecurities than yours. 

How to respond to this situation? Listen to it here.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

See also:

Depressed Because I’m Feeling Unattractive

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.