In this counseling answer:
• Do fun things together that will nurture the love between you.
• Go out for dinner, go somewhere beautiful and enjoy the scenery together.
• Figure out your similar likings and dwell on them.
• Pray istikhara and if this marriage really isn’t meant to stay then He will facilitate you to end it.
• Give 6 months to this marriage.
Wa Alaikum salaam wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh sister,
You were previously interested in someone but his arrogant family rejected you that made you feel bad and put you in a state of severe depression. Alhamdulilah, you found a way out and married someone else but unfortunately, you are having a hard time developing a love for him due to his limp and that you don’t like to talk to him. You are considering to end this marriage although your family disagrees to go for this option.
The first thing to think about is if this situation really warrants getting a divorce. If the issue only is his leg, then you should really take some time to think about what is more important in a marriage. Would you like to be the wife of a good man who belongs to a respected family but has a physical ailment? Or would you rather be with a handsome man who does not have manners and comes from a family that doesn’t respect you?
Superficially, the latter may seem more appealing, but in the long term, this would give you even more stress. With the former, however, you could feel more confident that you will live a comfortable life and be treated well by your spouse as well as being respected by his extended family.
You have been married to this man for only 3 months so at least you should give him a chance. Don’t let his limp prevent you from spending quality time with him. Try your best to know him. Whilst you still have the other man in your heart which might prevent you from developing feelings for your husband. If you try to spend more time with your husband, it will help you develop feelings for him and those for the other man will fade. To reach this stage though you must be willing to try your best. Do fun things together that will nurture the love between you, go out for dinner, go somewhere beautiful and enjoy the scenery together, figure out your similar likings and dwell on them. Try to find happiness in this marriage by giving it a chance and working on it. When you find happiness there you will no longer feel as if you have to choose between happiness and breaking hearts.
Perhaps you should set a time frame in your mind. Three months are not enough to take such a big decision of divorce. You should give 6 more months to you, your husband and this marriage. It is likely that during this time, love blossoms and you no longer feel to get apart from your husband. If you are still not content after 6 months then you could assess the situation again in terms of strengths and weaknesses of each of your possible choices.
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When trying to make such an important decision the best thing you can do is take it to Allah. Pray istikhara and if this marriage really isn’t meant to stay then He will facilitate you to end it. On the other hand, if you are meant to stay with your husband, He will place the love between your hearts that you will find contentment with him and will happily continue the marriage.
May Allah guide you to make the decision that is best for you and your husband and may Allah give barakah in your marriage.
Salam,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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