If Everything is Created in Pairs, Why are Single People Left Alone?

30 August, 2020
Q Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatahu,

My question is if Allah has created everything or everyone in pairs , then why do single women or men die without getting married?

Answer


In this counseling session:

Marriage is highly recommended in Islam for so many reasons, including providing comfort as well as protection from committing sin.

However, some people don’t get married because they just don’t find the one.

There are exceptions to every rule. Not getting married could be a choice as a result of having strict criteria for a potential spouse, or because of other issues like illness, financial reasons or whatever.

Or whether it is not by choice, but because people are not willing to marry divorcees, or people with disabilities or otherwise.

Either way, the problem regarding people dying single is not because of an error in Allah’s creation, but because of the choices of man, both male and female. 


Wa alaikum salaam sister, 

Allah created everything in pairs 

This is correct, Allah indeed does tell us in the Qur’an that He created everything in pairs. 

‘Exalted is He who created all pairs – from what the earth grows and from themselves and from that which they do not know.’ (Qur’an, 36:36)

As a result, there are enough men and women that everyone could get married if they choose to. In fact, marriage is highly recommend, 

And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing. (Quran, 24: 32)

especially in the case where a person is unable to control their desires. 

It was narrated from Aishah that: the Messenger of Allah said:

“Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.” (Sunan Ibn Majah, Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1846) 

Man’s choice, not Allah’s mistake

So, you see the reason for it occurring that people die without getting married is not because Allah did not create sufficient pairs, or forbade marriage, but because people are choosing not to get married for some reason, whether it be because they don’t agree with marriage or because they can’t find a suitable spouse.

If Everything is Created in Pairs, Why are Single People Left Alone? - About Islam

Why don’t people get married? 

Sometimes people may not get married because people are being too fussy and have standards that are too high and are not willing to accept a spouse that doesn’t meet a long list of very specific criteria. As a result, such people may turn down proposal after proposal until it’s too late.

Other times, it may be due to some kind of undesirable characteristic to a potential spouse. For example, it’s not uncommon for divorced sisters to report difficulties in finding a spouse again, especially if they have children. This may be because they have not received any offers due to the stigma of being divorced, or that they choose not to seek a spouse due to foreseeing difficulties in finding one and so choose to avoid the stress and live a single life.

Other factors that may cause difficulties in finding a spouse may be issues such as infertility or disability. These are far from reasons for people not to get married, but they are reasons why people may not not marry either through choice, voluntarily, or because they have a hard time finding a spouse who will accept them. 

These are not reason’s why people should not get married, but are reasons why people don’t get married. 


Check out this counseling video:


Why should people get married?

To get married comes with many blessings including providing a close source of comfort and protection from sin as marriage provides a solution to the desire to commit certain sins by giving man an appropriate and acceptable way to go do. 

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give though (Quran, 30:21)

Seek Scholarly advice

You could also direct this question to a scholar to get a scholarly perspective on the matter from an Islamic perspective.

May Allah grant all those who are seeking a righteous spouse who will be the coolness of their eyes. 

Summary 

Marriage is highly recommended in Islam for so many reasons, including providing comfort as well as protection from committing sin. Allah did create everything in pairs so there is no valid reason why people should not marry.

However, unfortunately, it happens too many times that people don’t get married whether it be by choice as a result of having strict criteria for a potential spouse. Or whether it is not by choice, but because people are not willing to marry divorces, or people with disabilities or otherwise.

Either way, the problem regarding people dying single is not because of an error in Allah’s creation, but because of the choices of man, both male and female.

Salam,

***

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About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)