I am hurt because despite I have forgiven all his mistakes, I am with him. I fulfill all the duties of a wife. Yet, I do not have that only and special place in his heart.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•If you do not know why he dropped the idea of marrying this other lady, dear sister, and he still talks about her, I would kindly ask.
•Perhaps he is taking his own guilt and remorse out on you instead of facing his own inadequacies and sins.
•You may want to go for marriage counseling.
•Be extra good to yourself during this time, take walks, socialize with friends for up building and support, attend Ramadan prayers and events, and stay close to Allah.
As salamu alaikum,
Sister, I am sorry to hear about your husband’s extramarital affair.
May Allah bless you for your patience, efforts, your willingness to forgive, and your continued support of your husband.
A Heart that Has Been Hurt
I can imagine this is so hurtful, especially as he told you she would always have a special place in his heart.
What kind of a man says that to his wife? Anyhow, sister, insha’Allah as he grows in his faith and knowledge perhaps his mind will be able to comprehend his grave errors.
Insha’Allah he recognizes as well as the beautiful, wonderful pearl that is his wife.
Sister, you stated that he did want to marry this woman but later dropped the idea. I am wondering why.
If you do not know why he dropped the idea of marrying this other woman, dear sister, and he still talks about her, I would kindly ask.
It could be that her family declined him or forbid her to marry him. It could be she told him no.
Sister, I can imagine you are very hurt. You have sacrificed a lot and you have put up with a lot.
You do not deserve this you deserve much better.
Sister, he may say she has a place in his heart but perhaps the feeling he has is guilt not affection at this point.
His words to you were hurtful and I am sure he knows that.
Perhaps he is taking his own guilt and remorse out on you instead of facing his own inadequacies and sins.
He is blessed to have you as a wife, sister.
Marriage Counseling
At this point, you may want to go for marriage counseling.
I kindly advise you to address this with him to improve and rebuild your marriage insha’Allah.
Check out this counseling video
In the meantime, sister, inshallah, please try not to take his cheating personal.
I know that is very hard. I am sure you have a very special place in his heart.
However, right now he is just a very selfish sinful man.
Be Good to Yourself
Please, be extra good to yourself during this time; take walks, socialize with friends for up building and support, attend Ramadan prayers and events, and stay close to Allah.
In time, insha’Allah, this pain will pass and he will come to his right mind.
If he does not, or if there is a repeat of his infidelity, you do have other options sister.
You are in our prayers.
Salam,
***
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Read more:
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/extramarital-affairs/i-found-messages-from-women-in-my-husbands-phone/
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/extramarital-affairs/girlfriend-asking-for-the-wifes-forgiveness-2/