Mom Keeps Asking Me to Pray But I Refuse

28 August, 2020
Q My mom keeps telling me to pray. And I know it’s because she cares. But when I pray it doesn’t feel like it’s for me. So I don’t. I should but when she keeps telling me to, I don’t want to

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•I suggest that you commit to praying for one month.

•During this time, read about the benefits of prayer and really get to know about the importance of your relationship with Allah.

•Once you get into the habit of praying (which researchers say a habit is developed in 30 days) it will become much easier to pray and feel less of a burden.


As salamu alaykum,

Thank you for writing to us and for your important question. As you know, your mom is right about praying and she does love you and cares about your relationship with Allah swt.

You are right as well when you state that “when you pray, it doesn’t feel like it’s for you”, so you don’t pray. Sister, getting into the habit of praying can be hard at first.

The power of prayer

At first, we may not think it is for us as we truly do not understand the power of prayer nor the blessings in prayer. Additionally, oftentimes there is a sense that Allah does not hear our prayers therefore why pray.

Sister, I ask that you commit to praying for one month. During this time I would also kindly suggest that you read about the benefits of prayer. And really get to know about the importance of your relationship with Allah.

Mom Keeps Asking Me to Pray But I Refuse - About Islam

Not Only a Ritual

You may not initially feel anything sister. As a result, during these 30 days, you will begin to see both the benefit and importance of keeping your salats.

Besides, once you get into the habit of praying (which researchers say a habit is developed in 30 days), it will become much easier to pray and feel less of a burden.

Insha’Allah, you will develop a deep love for prayer. And it will come to be something you look forward to.

As prayer becomes less of a habit and more of an act of love and obedience-if a prayer is missed you may feel like a part of you is missing.

Sister, we need Allah, Allah does not need us. As you know, our prayer is our connection with Allah. It is a gift to offer salat. Ask yourself, do you seek to connect with Allah’s sister? Do you love Allah swt?

Prayer Makes us better Muslim

Look at it from this standpoint as well. If your mom was gone away on a trip wouldn’t you call her a lot to talk to her? Well, it is the same with prayers.

While you may not “feel” like praying now, once you get used to communicating with your Lord on a regular basis (salat) you will find that it is indeed your daily blessing and protection.

Please do try to cultivate your relationship with Allah. Keep your prayers for 30 days straight. And seek to gain a deeper understanding of the blessing of prayer.

Make duaa that Allah guides your heart towards understanding.

We wish you the best.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach.
Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.