In this counseling answer:
•Certainly, early in a marriage, couples like to have the time to get to know one another and enjoy life together before having children and this is often why newly married couples like to take their time at the start.
•On the other hand, having children early on, whilst you are younger, you may find easier to manage whilst you have more energy. It also gives you the opportunity to have more, if you desire to have a large family
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatuh,
There are a number of opinions on this as well as with contraception. Generally, we are encouraged to have children and grow the Ummah.
It was narrated from Aishah that the Messenger of Allah (swt) said:
“Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.” (Ibn Majah)
However, there are occasions where having children can have detrimental consequences for the mother or the child, in which case, many scholars would agree that interrupted intercourse is ok.
“Narrated Jabir: We used to practice coitus interrupt us while the Qur’an was being revealed. Jabir added: We used to practice coitus interrupt us during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (saw) while the Qur’an was being Revealed.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)
What is important is to determine the reason why interrupted intercourse is being engaged in. If it is for Islamically permissible reasons, then most scholars would say this is ok. But if it is the case that the husband or wife are being denied something – either pleasure or a child-, then it is generally stated that this method is disliked.
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There are many reasons why people might choose to delay having a child, especially when they are young and are in the early days of marriage. Having a child is a very daunting prospect. It creates a lot of change in one’s life. Some of these changes can be very difficult to adjust to, but at the same time, having a child can be very fulfilling.
Certainly, early in a marriage, couples like to have the time to get to know one another and enjoy life together before having children and this is often why newly married couples like to take their time at the start.
On the other hand, having children early on, whilst you are younger, you may find easier to manage whilst you have more energy. It also gives you the opportunity to have more, if you desire to have a large family. It is a difficult, but very important decision to make and one that you need to take consideration of these points, including those of the Islamic perspective, in order that you and your wife will make a decision that you will both be happy and content with.
May Allah (swt) guide you on the straight path and guide you to make decisions that are most pleasing to Him.
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