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Raising A Child Outside Marriage

27 December, 2020
Q Salaalms. A friend of mine got pregnant many years ago. She wasn’t married to the man and the man wasn't Muslim. She gave birth to a child and her parents took her child away from her. I was wondering if it was correct for them to do so or not and why was it? (she wanted to keep the child).

Answer

In this counseling answer:

I would kindly suggest that you pray for your friend as this is something she will probably never get over, the loss of her child.

Pray also for her child as her child is being raised by someone else.  Insha’Allah the child is in a warm, loving Islamic home.


As salamu alaykum,

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Thank you for writing to us. I am sorry to hear what happened to your friend and her child.  I am not an Islamic scholar so if you seek an Islamic ruling please do consult with our “Ask the Scholar” section. 

What happened to your friend is tragic. However, a beautiful innocent baby was born and sadly, your friend did not get a chance to raise her child.

There may be many reasons why her parents did this-perhaps your friend was very young, perhaps the family could not afford to take care if the child.  Maybe the parents were very angry or ashamed.

We do not know. However, when we bring a child into the world we are charged with the responsibility to care for that child. If we are poor, we are to rely upon Allah’s mercy to make a way for us to care for our child.

Raising A Child Outside Marriage - About Islam

As your friend did want to keep her child and her parents did, in fact, take the child away it would appear to me that it was wrong. 

Your friend I am going to assume had repented and put her trust in Allah as far as how to raise her child.  What happened to her and her parents only they know.  Where the child was taken only the parents (and Allah) knows.

At this point sister, as it has been years, I would kindly suggest that you pray for your friend as this is something she will probably never get over, the loss of her child.

Pray also for her child as her child is being raised by someone else.  Insha’Allah the child is in a warm, loving Islamic home.

Sister, you have a beautiful, loving sensitive heart as you are thinking about your friend and what happened years ago.

May Allah bless you with all that is good and enable you to use your lovely heart to help others who are in need. You are in our prayers.

Salam,

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.