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How Can I Raise My Children in a Non-Muslim Environment?

31 October, 2022
Q How can I raise my children in a non-Muslim environment as good Muslims, without making them feel that they cannot do anything, everything is forbidden for them (or, well, at least many things), and their parents are forbidding them all the time.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

If you are fortunate enough to live in an area where there is a mosque, or other Muslims locally, then make sure to connect with them.

It may be that you don’t have a masjid very close by, but there may be others in your country that are holding classes online.

Educate them about the world.

Literally, make Islam the way of life in your home where you implement as much as possible. Pray together, read together, learn together …, etc.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,

This is a challenge that many Muslim families in the West face in a daily basis. It is even more of a challenge to those who live in an area that has few Muslims.

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Adults may have acquired more resilience and be better able to manage themselves in this case. However, the children can be left feeling confused and left out if they don’t have the necessary skills and support.

Alhamdulilah, as parents, we are in a string position to lessen such impacts on them.

Connect with Other Muslim Families

Whilst Muslims may be less in non-Muslim countries, they do still exist. If you are fortunate enough to live in an area where there is a mosque, or other Muslims locally, then make sure to connect with them. This is for your sake as much as your children’s.

It can be difficult to feel different for anyone, so being with other Muslims can help to ease any difficult thoughts and feelings one might have otherwise.

How Can I Raise My Children in a Non-Muslim Environment? - About Islam

It will be particularly useful for your children if there are children in these families, or if there are Islamic classes held in your local masjid. This is where they can connect with others like them without feeling singled out or different.

If this is not an option, or even if it is, you could endeavor to connect them with other Muslim children online. Given the current situation, such connections have become much more accessible.

Online Classes

It may be that you don’t have a masjid very close by, but there may be others in your country that are holding classes online.

Whilst not the same as connecting with other children face to face, it still gives them the opportunity to connect with other Muslim children.

 It may not be quite as encouraging as face to face interactions, but in the same light, it does give them the chance to realize that they are not alone and that there are others following the same religion as them in a country that otherwise doesn’t. This should provide them with some reassurance.

As well as this, another way you can make things easy for them is to educate them in particular in the practices that may be commonly seen where you are that they may otherwise not be permitted to engage in.

Often children may start to feel angry and even rebellious if they are constantly being prevented from doing what everyone else is. Sometimes that curiosity may even push them to join them.

Educate Children

This is why educating them is very important to prevent this from happening. Not only does it give them the knowledge, but it also helps to foster a strong and trusting relationship between you. This will be crucial in giving them the space to turn to you when they have questions or are struggling.

For example, as Christmas is coming up, your children might feel left out. This can be very tough for them, especially when they are in the minority.

In this cade, give your children an idea of what they are celebrating and why we do not celebrate it.

Highlight to them what we do celebrate and how at Eid we are having fun celebrating and those who are not Muslims are missing out, much like they feel they might be a Christmas time.

This is just a single example, but gives you an idea of how to address any similar matters with them. It is also something that should be discussed with them in an age appropriate way.

Discussing it with them will, in sha Allah, make it seem less like you are being mean to forbid them from doing so much.

You are justifying why whilst giving them the space to ask questions if they have any. It’ll strengthen your bond too so that they do not feel like you are nagging them.

Encourage a Strong Islamic Environment at Home

You can also tackle this less directly too simply by encouraging a strong Islamic environment in the home where they can develop a pride in their religion. This way they won’t even have any desire to do anything that is not in line with Islam for fear of angering Allah.

Literally, make Islam the way of life in your home where you implement as much as possible. Pray together, read together, learn together …, etc.

Make these activities things that will bring you close together as a family.

This will encourage a positive association with Islam whilst in the process of learning and implementing Islamic practices. Let them be as involved as possible where possible. Let them be involved in the decision making process, such as choosing which surahs to read, or which courses to study.

This will also help to strengthen their connection with Islam whilst building skills of independence that will be helpful for them.

May Allah reward your concern to raise your children on His path and may He guide you in doing so successfully.

Salam,

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)