Short Answer: Who should you turn to first? Of course, the first door that you should knock on if you need any help, should be the door of Allah. As human beings we are forgetful and sometimes we take a roundabout so instead of going to Allah first, we turn to our friends, family, etc. And when that doesn’t work out we turn back to our Creator. Don’t make Allah your last resort. Remember the believer with strong faith always turns to Allah first, and he realizes that it was enough for him.
Walaikumassalam. Jazakallahu khair for your question. We pray that the answer helps you out Ameen.
This Is Not The Time To Be Depressed
Allah has said that he will test the believers with many hardships and one of those tests is trials with one’s family or dear ones. When a test comes your way hang on tight because this is just the beginning. One quality that you will need the most is patience. It is extremely difficult to be patient! Many times you will have to bite your tongue. However, down the road, you will realize that it was a good call to do exactly that. Believers must stay persistent, for it is a mark that distinguishes between a true believer and a person without faith.
Allah says in the Quran,
“Oh you who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer, for God is with those who patiently persevere.” (2:153)
Rejoice! You may be thinking how can I be happy about all of this? One main reason you should be happy is that Allah has chosen you as His Slave and tested you. If you look around many people are going about their daily routines, without even a flinch, because Allah has not tested them yet. Allah tests the believers according to the level of faith they have. So sit back, relax, and be ready to be tested.
The Prophet ﷺ said,
“When Allah loves a servant, He tests him,” [Tirmidhi]. Also in a hadith qudsi (a hadith relating the words of Allah [swt]), Allah (swt) tells Jibreel to delay the response to the du`a’ of a servant because Allah (swt) loves hearing his voice [Tabarani]
Lock Away your Pride….. And Throw Away the Key for Good
When you discuss anything with your family try to be humble. Even if they become upset try and keep your cool. Two angry people cannot have a meaningful conversation. One of you has to be cool. I’m not saying that floor down in front of them and agree to something that is unacceptable, but one way to change a person’s perception is through your behavior. Don’t get defensive because the other person’s brain feels that defense, and automatically goes on fight or flight zone.
Take a glimpse of the Prophets’ lives and you will see that all of them had to go through a similar test. Let’s take Prophet Abraham for example, he was tried with the relationship of his father. When Abraham was blessed by Allah with Prophethood, he took the message to his father. What did his father do, do you think his father embraced him with love? No, he threw him out of the house! Yet, Prophet Abraham was soft in his speech and told him that he would pray for him. In the Quran Allah says,
“He (Abraham) said: Peace be to you! I shall ask forgiveness of my Lord for you. Lo! He was ever gracious to me.” (19:47)
Which Door Should I Knock On?
Who should you turn to first? Of course, the first door that you should knock on if you need any help, should be the door of Allah. As human beings we are forgetful and sometimes we take a roundabout so instead of going to Allah first, we turn to our friends, family, etc. And when that doesn’t work out we turn back to our Creator. Don’t make Allah your last resort. Remember the believer with strong faith always turns to Allah first, and he realizes that it was enough for him. Prophet Muhammad said,
“Whoever abstains from asking others, Allah will make him contented, and whoever tries to make himself self-sufficient, Allah will make him self-sufficient. And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience.” (Bukhari).
You have to be certain with what you ask of Allah. Don’t just mumble prayers, talk to Allah and know with full certainty that He is listening to you. After turning to Allah, then you should approach your family and play it by ear. Never, ever give up hope, because a true believer is always hopeful for good from his Lord. Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) as saying:
“A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, (but) cherish that which gives you benefit (in the Hereafter) and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart, and if anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don’t say: If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so, but say: Allah did that what He had ordained to do and your” if” opens the (gate) for the Satan.”
And Allah knows best.
Hope this helps.
And Allah knows best.
I hope this helps.
Salam and please keep in touch.
(From Ask About Islam archives)
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