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How to Stop Being Jealous of Other People?

15 August, 2016
Q I have an urgent question: How to stop being jealous of other people? Please help

Answer

Salam Dear Reader,

Thank you for sending this important question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

It is essential that we purify our thoughts, hearts and actions from such evil tendencies.

Allah taught us in Surat Al Falaq in the Quran to seek refuge from the evil whispering and from the envying of the envier. He says:

In the Name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful

Say, “I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak

From the evil of that which He created

And from the evil of darkness when it settles

And from the evil of the blowers in knots

And from the evil of an envier when he envies.” (Quran Chapter 113)

So, remember that those feelings of envy are evil and they’re from the devil as he was the first to envy; he envied Adam (peace be upon him) and refused to accept Allah’s honoring of Adam, Satan said:

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“I am better than him. You created me from fire and created him from clay”(Quran, 7:12).

And so Satan disobeyed Allah on account of his arrogance, jealousy and inability to see Allah’s wisdom in what He does.

So, we should not follow this path, we should always trust Allah Almighty and His wisdom in giving and withholding to others.

Here are a few things to remember to avoid being envious:

  1. All people are tested. Having worldly gains and successes is not really the ultimate success, it is still a test. Being deprived of certain aspects is also not a failure, it is still a test. Allah says what means: “[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed – and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving” (Quran, 67:2).

And He said:

“And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says, “My Lord has honored me.” But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, “My Lord has humiliated me.” No!” (Quran 89: 15-17)

So we learn here that both the good and bad are tests and trials.

  1. If you feel deprived of something and envy those who have it, then remember: “perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not” (Quran 2:216).
  1. If you see something that you like on other people, ask Allah to bless and increase them, as the Prophet taught us.

“It was narrated that Abu Umamah bin Sahl bin Hunaif said:

“‘Amir bin Rabi’ah passed by Sahl bin Hunaif when he was having a bath, and said: ‘I have never seen such beautiful skin.’ Straightaway, he (Sahl) fell to the ground. He was brought to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and it was said: ‘Sahl has had a fit.’ He said: ‘Whom do you accuse with regard to him?’ They said: “‘Amir bin Rabi’ah.’ They said: ‘Why would anyone of you kill his brother? If he sees something that he likes, then let him pray for blessing for him.’ Then he called for water, and he told ‘Amir to perform ablution, then he washed his face and his arms up to the elbows, his knees and inside his lower garment, then he told him to pour the water over him.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

  1. Remember the reality of this life. “And whatever thing you [people] have been given – it is [only for] the enjoyment of worldly life and its adornment. And what is with Allah is better and more lasting; so will you not use reason?” (Quran, 28:60).
  1. Give thanks to Allah a lot for what you have, and He will make you content and increase you. Sometimes people are busy looking at others that they forget the blessings that they themselves have.

“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed,‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]….” [Quran 14:7]

I hope this helps answer your question.

Salam and please keep in touch.

About Dina Mohamed Basiony
Dina Mohamed Basiony is a writer based in Cairo, Egypt. She specializes in Islam and spirituality. Dina holds an MA and BA in Journalism and Mass Communication from the American University in Cairo.