Answer
Short Answer: Please give religious faith and practice a high priority when considering marriage candidates. Consult a righteous community or family elder before finalizing your marriage. Finally, please avoid all friendships and romantic relationships outside of marriage. These only cloud one’s judgment when it comes to making a wise decision. You could give this man a grace time period, during which he can study Islam. After this period passes, if he still has doubts, you can reject him for good.
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Asalaamu alaykum, and thank you for sending in your question to our website.
Sister, there is great importance attached to finding a righteous spouse in Islam. A Muslim is encouraged to marry as soon as they can. They should not delay marriage for invalid reasons. That being said, the ideal Islamic marriage is indeed becoming difficult to attain. There are several factors responsible for this. Changes in lifestyle, gender roles and social norms are all playing a part. What is required is for Muslims to return to the basics of their religion. The foundation of faith should be given the highest priority.
Leadership Role
Sister, in Islam, a husband is the leader of the family unit. He has a great burden to shoulder and carry. Faith in Allah and a strong foundation in Islam is a must for any Muslim husband. This is because it is this faith that helps him adequately fulfill his responsibilities.
When his faith is lacking, a Muslim man tends to perceive his wife and children as financial burdens and a source of worry. He tries to seek frequent escape in other social engagements. This is because frivolities do not require commitment and hard work. This spells nothing but disaster for a wife.
In short: man with weak faith in Allah, will find it difficult to lead his Muslim family towards Paradise.
Raising the Next Generation
Sister, marriage is the only Islamic means through which the next generation is born. Parents are obligated to raise their children as conscientious Muslims. It is very difficult to raise righteous offspring unless both parents are on the same page. If the father is not religiously practicing, the children’s moral character will be lacking. How will you raise your children as pious Muslims, if your husband’s own faith is weak? I have witnessed the distress of many wives whose husbands lack in faith.
Marrying a man who doubts the existence of God and religion, is a sure way to spiritual disaster!
Greater Degree of Authority
Sister, Islam grants a husband a great level of authority over his wife. Muslim men who lack in faith can abuse this authority. They can mistreat their wives and exploit them for personal gain. There are many real-life horror stories in which wives are oppressed and abused. A man who doubts the existence of God, will not fear Allah when dealing with his wife and children. This will greatly jeopardize your position in the relationship.
Conclusion: Be Very Careful
In the end, I would like to remind you of a few recommendations. You should perform istikharah prayer whenever you receive a marriage proposal. Please give religious faith and practice a high priority when considering marriage candidates. Consult a righteous community or family elder before finalizing your marriage. Finally, please avoid all friendships and romantic relationships outside of marriage. These only cloud one’s judgment when it comes to making a wise decision.
You could give this man a grace time period, during which he can study Islam. After this period passes, if he still has doubts, you can reject him for good.
And Allah knows best.
I hope this helps.
Salam and please keep in touch.
(From Ask About Islam archives)
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