How to Move On in Life After My Shahadah?

24 June, 2016
Q I converted to Islam few months ago and I've found that some of my oldest friends have become very hostile and negative towards me. How do I move on and put the sadness behind me? I have removed the online abuse and blocked those responsible but I am still hurting inside.


Salam (Peace) Dear Jessica,

Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

Alhamdulillah on your reversion to Islam! Unfortunately, there are many converts that experience the same kind of thing you are going through. It is quite common, in fact, for converts to be shunned even by their own families in many cases.

This has to be expected to some degree because for the most part, many of these people that were once very close to us often feel betrayed by our acceptance of another way of life. Some don’t know what Islam is, and therefore feel that you are somehow doing something irrational and foolish, some feel betrayed, some are confused, etc.

One of the most important things you can do is to try to allay their fears by educating them about Islam and making it clear to them what about you will change and what won’t. Help them to see that you are going to be the same person as before, only better!

At the same time, you might have to accept the fact that some of these people just will not be able to accept your decision no matter what. I have had that happen to me as well. It’s difficult at first for sure, but in the end, Allah knows best who is good for us and who is not.

So there is a certain level of trust that you must have in this situation. Also don’t forget about the new friends you will make from the Muslim community, many of whom you probably have not even met but will come across in the future. You will be losing some probably but gaining new ones.

In the end sister, there is not much else you can do in this situation. You made an important life-altering decision that is of course not a threat to anyone, but ultimately they may see it as something strange and foreign and will not be able to accept it.

Again, try your best to allay any fears or apprehensions they might have while at the same time trust Allah that ultimately this decision will be the best thing you could possibly do in your life and He will surround you with people that will be good for you and your religion.

Supplicate and ask Allah to open up their hearts to understanding Islam and accepting you as a Muslim. God willing (InshaAllah), it will work out as it is supposed to.

Brother Maan Khalife, a member of Ask About Islam staff, added:

Also spend time learning about Islam and how to kindly reply to people who do not appreciate it. Learn how to clear their misconceptions about Islam and remember that we are here to help you.

If you face a question that you are not able to answer, simply tell the questioner that you will have a proper response very soon. Ask us the question and we will answer it; this has double benefit, you will learn more about Islam and you will build confidence.

Islam is very detailed and not every Muslim is expected to know every single detail. Allah says in his book what means:

{…So ask those who possess knowledge if you do not know} (Al-Nahl, 16:43)

Even Muslim scholars ask those who are more knowledgeable than them. Please check the New Muslim Academy to see if this is something you like to pursue.How to Move On in Life After My Shahadah? - About Islam

I finally advise you to mix more often with the Muslim community. Establish new friends and pray that Allah guides your non-Muslim friends. Remember that if Allah guides someone through you, every good deed they do will be added to your rewards.

I conclude with the following authentic tradition (hadith sahih), narrated by Anas ibn Malik that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“Whoever misguides people and people follow his/her misguidance, he/she shall be accountable for all who follow him/her, and nothing will be diminished from their sins. And whoever guides people and they follow his guidance, he/she will receive their rewards in full, and nothing will be diminished from their rewards.” (Sahih Al-Jamia)

I hope this helps answer your question.

Salam and please keep in touch.

About Dr. Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah
Dr. Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah is a Research Fellow at the Institute for Social Science Study’s Community Education and Youth Studies Laboratory, Universiti Putra Malaysia. He received his B.A. from the University of Delaware (U.S.), his M.S. from Columbia University (U.S.) and his PhD from the Institute for Community & Peace Studies (PEKKA), Universiti Putra Malaysia in 2005 in the field of Youth Studies. Abd. Lateef is an American who has been living in Malaysia since 2001. He is married and has 2 children.