Answer
Salam Dear Sister,
Thank you so much for asking this question and for contacting Ask About Islam.
Allah inspiring you to ask means He wants to show you the wisdom; He is already helping you and guiding you and sending you messages and directing you to where you can get answers so you won’t fall into that sin.
Your question reminded me of something. Many people say “why do we have to obey Allah or follow a religion? Why can’t we have free will?” But then when something wrong happens, they say “why did Allah allow this to happen?” Well, if He didn’t allow things to happen, is there really a free will!!
It’s a bit contradictory, don’t you think?
Allah is allowing things to happen because we are being tested. Allah Glorified and Exalted already told us why we were created.
“[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed – and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving” [Quran 67: 2]
And He said:
“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.” [Quran: 2, 155-157]
Are you really being tested if your teacher is writing all the answers for you? If you made mistakes in your exam, can you go and tell your teacher “why did you allow me to make mistakes and lose marks?”
Well, your teacher can teach, help and explain. But you have to write your own answers.
Allah did not leave you. Allah is not really allowing you to fall into that sin. He inspired you to seek help, He is sending you signs and reminders, He is directing you towards those who would inspire you not to fall into that sin. He is helping. But the choice is yours.
We are responsible for the choices that we make.
I can now tell you that you do not have to commit that sin. You don’t. If you are patient and you fear Allah, He will make a way out for you. This is guaranteed.
Allah said and promised:
“And whoever fears Allah- He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him…” (Quran 65: 2-3)
“…and whoever fears Allah- He will remove for him his misdeeds and make great for him his reward.” (Quran 65: 5)
It’s good that you said you’re afraid. This means your heart is alive and well, let this innate instinctual fear of sin that Allah placed in you prevent you from committing that sin.
Keep struggling against it and strive to do what’s best.
“And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good.” (Quran 29: 69)
This is our greatest struggle, all of us. Seek Allah’s help; make dua. Read Surat Al Baqarah. Say the adhkar of fear and anxiety and seeking help:
“In the Name of Allah, with Whose Name nothing on the earth or in the heaven can cause harm, and He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.”
Read the last 3 surahs of the Quran (Ikhalas and mu’awadhatayin), because whoever recites these three times in the morning and in the evening, they will suffice him (as a protection) against everything.
Try to be among righteous companions, they will help and aid you against all evil thoughts. Allah says:
“And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.” (Quran 18: 28).
Sister, this storm shall pass. Keep holding on to Allah, struggle against degrading yourself with sin, and if you fall, immediately come back up and make tawba…
“Indeed, Allah is with those who fear Him and those who are doers of good.” [Quran 16: 128]
“O you who have believed, repent to Allah with sincere repentance. Perhaps your Lord will remove from you your misdeeds and admit you into gardens beneath which rivers flow [on] the Day when Allah will not disgrace the Prophet and those who believed with him. Their light will proceed before them and on their right; they will say, “Our Lord, perfect for us our light and forgive us. Indeed, You are over all things competent.” [Quran 66: 8]
I hope this helps answer your question.
Salam and please keep in touch.