Answer
Salam Dear Sister,
Thank you so much for sending your question.
I am a woman just like you and I understand and appreciate your feelings. But, I need to remind you here of a few things to help you put your thoughts in order.
Allah is the Most Merciful
No one -absolutely no one- has even remotely the same level of Mercy as Allah, glorified and exalted.
He created Mercy. He is its Origin. He has 100 portions of mercy, and because of just one He descended on this earth, there is/has been mercy among all creations from the beginning of time. 99x the mercy on earth from the beginning of time until the end of time is still to be manifested by Allah on the Day of Judgement. Can you imagine?
So it’s truly not befitting to doubt His Mercy or arrangements. Infinite mercy, justice, beauty, and peace belong to Allah. These are His Names & Attributes and He is The Source of those meanings, so we don’t need to ask Him about those things (Exalted is He).
Jannah is a completely different setting than this worldly life.
Completely different. In Jannah, we will not have the same feelings. Allah will remove all feelings of sadness, worry, resentment, and jealousy etc. in Paradise. Absolutely removed! So judging what happens in Jannah based on how you feel now is an inadequate and a flawed comparison.
You do not know and cannot imagine the pleasures and the amount and degree of happiness, awe, and amazement awaiting us in Jannah.
Allah said, “And no soul knows what has been hidden for them of comfort for eyes as reward for what they used to do.” ( Qur’an 32: 17)
Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Apostle (peace be upon him) said:
Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said: I have prepared for My pious servants which no eye (has ever) seen, no ear has (ever) heard and no human heart has ever perceived… [Sahih Muslim]
So you will be pleased to the fullest and beyond.
Realistic Expectations
However, let’s ask ourselves: what if your husband desires to enjoy other women? Are you going to force him not to? If so, isn’t this oppressive/selfish that you force someone or dictate their eternity and how they enjoy it?
And what if his ultimate wish and desire is to be intimate all the time in Jannah and you don’t want to or you want to do other things and explore other things in Jannah. Are you going to forfeit your desires and not do anything for eternity except fulfill his one and ultimate desire?
Would this be Jannah or a life-sentence, dear?
Jannah Contains Perfect Pleasure
Look, no one will oppress anyone in Jannah or force anyone to do anything. Everyone will get what they desire and Allah would accommodate their every wish and more. This arrangement is upon Allah, and He is The Best Planner.
Like He said in the Qur’an:
“Enter it in peace. This is the Day of Eternity. They will have whatever they wish therein, and with Us is more.” (Qur’an 50: 34- 35)
With our limited capacities/capabilities, we do not understand and are not able to come up with a plan that would perfectly please every single person. We are limited, we do not have this superiority/capability/ capacity. But the Creator of every single living being is the most knowing of them and He is The One who can please and satisfy everyone.
“Does He who created not know, while He is the Subtle, the Acquainted?” (Qur’an 67: 14)
No Jealousy or Resentment in Paradise
Again, I remind you that there are no feelings of sadness or jealousy in Jannah.
Allah tells us what the people of Paradise will be thinking:
“And they will say, “Praise to Allah, who has removed from us [all] sorrow. Indeed, our Lord is Forgiving and Appreciative –He who has settled us in the home of duration out of His bounty. There touches us not in it any fatigue, and there touches us not in it weariness [of mind].” (Qur’an 35: 34-35)
He also promises to remove all resentment from our hearts:
“And We will have removed whatever is within their breasts of resentment, [while] flowing beneath them are rivers […]” (Qur’an 7:43)
Trust Allah’s Mercy and Goodness for Us
Take it lightly, sister. You are judging Paradise by dunya standards and dunya feelings and this doesn’t apply to Jannah.
Look at when astronauts go to space, for example: do they live the same exact life? Of course not, because their life settings change to accommodate this new environment. Their needs and conditions adjust. Every environment Allah created has its own settings.
The sure thing here, Sister, is that no one will ever be as Merciful to us as Allah, no one gives us justice like Allah, no one appreciates us like Allah, and no one knows what Allah knows. So just trust Him.
This issue is with Allah, so it is in the Hands of The Best, The Most Wise, The Source of Mercy, Source of Love, Compassion and Beauty. So don’t worry. Jannah is neither a test, like dunya nor a punishment, like Hell. It is ultimate pleasure for everyone. Period. No one will be sad or worried, not even in the slightest.
As a woman, I am one million percent confident in Allah and comfortable with His plan; He is The Best of the best, no one measures up to Him or His Mercy or Beauty. It is He alone who is worthy of my confidence, and I am positive that He will fully satisfy all His Slaves in Jannah until they are beyond pleased. I say this with certainty!
I suggest now that you get to know Allah more deeply first; know His Names and Attributes and their meanings and manifestations. When we know Allah well, we will never be worried.
Indeed, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.
I hope that answers your question, and please stay in contact in case you have more questions.
Satisfy your curiosity by checking out these other links:
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/heavenly-rewards-pious-women/
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/beautiful-girls-misleading-heavenly-promises/
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/everyones-wishes-granted-paradise/