As salamu alaykum,

 

Shokran for writing to our Live Session with your most important concern.  I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, it must be really difficult for you to want to please Allah, yet be denied this right.  You stated that you feel so guilty and bad as a Muslim that you cannot even pray sometimes even though you know Allah is merciful and forgiving.  You also stated that your feeling this way as your father has forbidden you to fast, and you desire to fast to please Allah and to reap the blessings.  Your father as a doctor informed you that you are unable to fast and was very concerned about your fasting and completion of school work revisions and exams.   Your father is using the typical fasting symptoms which most people experience to deter and forbid you to fast so you can get good grades.

 

I am not an Islamic scholar but I would kindly advise you to get a physical exam from a doctor to determine if there is a medical reason why you cannot fast.  If there is not, which there should not be as you fasted before, do inform your father that with all due respect you will be fasting next year insha’Allah and that your father is denying you your Islamic rights and duties to Allah by prohibiting your fast.  Explain to him that it is haram to put worldly gain (grades) over fasting and that in the future insha’Allah you will resume fasting.

 

He will be held accountable to Allah for preventing you from fasting if there is not a medical exemption.  You are responsible to Allah to fast, not to your father.    Your duties to Allah are higher than your duties to your parents.  While you must respect your parents, you must not break your responsibilities to Allah.  As you are trying to please your father and Allah is most merciful, please do repent to Allah for not fasting, make up the days as you can or feed others and insha’Allah next year will be different.

 

Please do not ever feel so shamed that you cannot go to Allah.  Allah loves you very much and knows of the struggle, shame and sadness you went through as your father forbid you from fasting.  Your letter to us is most heartfelt as it is clearly evident you are remorseful, yet not sure what to do.  It is very clear you love Allah swt and love your father.  However, as much as we love our parents sister, we cannot disobey Allah just because they want us to.  Please do consult with your imam if you need assistance discussing this with your father.  As he loves you too, insha’Allah he will recognize his wrong, seek forgiveness and not try to put you through this again next year insha’Allah.  However, sister, if he does try-it, is your obligation to Allah to refuse to comply.

 

You are in our prayers we wish you the best.