Answer
In this counseling answer:
If you want to get married to someone from another culture and move to a different country, the counselor advises to be open minded, give yourself time to adjust to the new changes, make mutual decisions with your spouse, and be humble and understanding.
As-Salaam ‘Aleikom,
Thank you for writing to us. I will try my best to advise you.
Moving to Pakistan is a very big and serious decision. The culture and lifestyle in the UK and Pakistan are very different from each other. If she decides to move to Pakistan, then she might struggle to adjust there.
She has to understand that when a girl marries a Pakistani guy, then she is not only marrying him but also his family and their lifestyle. It is, of course, her choice to make this decision, but she has to be aware that it is not going to be an easy task to adjust into a new family and a new country. Having a supportive and understanding husband helps a lot for the wife to feel comfortable and adjust in his family. If she speaks Urdu, which is the main spoken language in Pakistan, then it will help her communicate easier with people around her as language is the key to understanding other people.
However, I can understand her parents’ concern about sending her to a different country. When a Pakistani girl gets married, she needs her family to be close to her, otherwise, it gets hard to travel so much to visit parents when you have children. It is sad for parents to marry off their daughters and it is even sadder if they have to send them to a country so far away.
If she really likes him and wants to marry him then she should try convincing him to move to the UK as there are more job opportunities there. Normally, people from Pakistan want to move to a European country for a brighter future, but in this case, it seems like he is doing well in Pakistan and does not want to move.
At the end of the day, it is her decision. She should do whatever she thinks is best for her. After all, she is the one who is going to live there and adjust there. All we can do is to advise her and make her aware of the different life in Pakistan. Once she moves there, she will not get to see her parents so often.
Here are a few things she will have to keep in mind if she wants to move to a different country:
Be open minded. Things might be much more different from what she is expecting, and she does not know how she will feel after she has moved there. There can be many things that can put her off and make her dislike the country, but there can also be millions of things that can make her fall love with it. Change can be hard for some people. Therefore, it is a good idea to give herself time to adjust the new changes and let herself adapt.
Be honest and make mutual decisions. If she is moving to Pakistan, then this should be a joint decision of her and her husband, and making other decisions should always be together. Telling her husband afterward that she moved there for him in every argument and discussion is not really advisable.
Be humble and understanding. Learning a completely new culture and lifestyle is not easy. It takes some time to learn everything. Advise her to not be hard on herself, and try to be understanding and respectful if people are a little different from her and what she is used to.
Hopefully, she will make the right decision for her and stay happy with her husband. May whatever decision she makes be the best one for her.
Amen,
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.