Salam alaikum

 

I see two issues, one has to do with mental wellness in feelings towards you and the second has to do with physical or medical issues.

 

In many cases, stressful life hardships affect men and it invades their mind in a way it distracts them from the ability to control their intimate needs and feelings. And if he came to his wife once and he did not perform well, his mind will start reminding him of his inability in a way he will be afraid it will not work again and he actually convinces himself with such!

 

So intimacy becomes a personal challenge that scares him and he avoids it to avoid embarrassment. This has to be treated mentally by inviting methods of self-confidence and being fair with the self and taking it in steps gradually with some sexual proper education that can help a lot insha Allah.

 

The second one is to check his medical status as to make sure no illnesses are affecting his performance. And if it is the case, then the doctor will advise the best way to deal with this.