Salam alaikum

 

As for oral sex from both genders toward each other, I believe it has to do with cleanliness and personal respect not being haram as a ruling. I do not see a text in the Shari`ah that directly prohibits it.

 

Some scholars used the verse in the Qur’an “and those who are guarding their private parts” as a base to prohibit it but I believe anything to be declared haram must have a Sahih and Sareeh text meaning an authentic like Qur’an verses all authentic or declared authentic Hadith and clear meaning not assumed.

 

Having said that, if it is not prohibited in the Shari`ah, it still has to be considered in relation to cleanliness of the area not to be touched with any filthiness of urine and in relation to people’s personal respect as many women or men might not feel comfortable about it, so you cannot force your spouse to do it.

 

As for the fantasies issue, it really has to do with the dictionary of pictures in someone’s mind. If you are looking at things in movies that are haram or not appropriate you have already doomed yourself that you will always compare your spouse to that in movies and it is not fair.

 

Intimacy is something beautiful from spouses toward each other. So do not destroy it by inviting foreign figures even into your mind. Those figures in movies have their own social problems with their spouses and no one is perfect.

 

My advice, clear yourself from such scenes and pictures, look at your spouse in a totality personality not just physical and Allah will make you enjoy the halal to its peak insha Allah.