Wa ‘Alaikum Salaam,

Ma sha’ Allah, this is great news that you are going to get married in August, in sha’ Allah. I can see that your ex is now back and this causes confusion for you. It makes you feel somewhat distressed.

Firstly, the fact that you never married this man in the first place means that feelings should not have developed to the point that it should cause you such confusion. Any contact that was made in such a way, forgiveness should be sought from Allah (swt). Part of this involves avoiding getting in a situation where feelings could develop outside marriage again. This is because Shaytaan can plant these feelings between two people causing them to be tempted to sin by feeling like they are in love. The feelings are present there and this is what causes you difficulty. Given that he is not a mahram, you should still not be in contact with him alone, even by phone or email. Restricting any contact like this will also make it easier for you because you cannot talk to him to hear the way he feels. Likewise, you cannot develop any further feeling for him.

Alhamdulilah, you are now in a situation where you can pursue a halal marriage, and in sha’ Allah you will find happiness in this marriage. To avoid any doubts that you might be having right now, be sure to seek refuge from Shaytaan that he may not cast doubt in your mind. When you are doing something pleasing to Allah (swt), such as getting married in the most acceptable way, Shaytaan will do all he can to make sure this doesn’t happen and tempt you to do something haram, or walk away from the halal by casting doubt in your mind. Therefore, at this time, when you are behaving in a way that please Allah (swt), protect yourself from Shaytaan and keep Allah (swt) in mind all the time. Remember that you are getting married for the sake of Allah (swt) and you are doing it in the permissible way that is pleasing to Allah (swt). This is what is most important and will be your protection.

Therefore, not only is it recommended that you do not have any contact with this other man, but it is also haram anyway. If you adhere to the Islamic guidelines and obligations, any doubt will be cast out of your mind in the knowledge that you are doing what is halal and most pleasing to Allah (swt). If you keep Allah (swt) in mind all the time, in all you do, then this will be even easier for you.

May Allah (swt) keep you on the straight path and bring you happiness and success in your marriage. May He (swt) make you the coolness of each other’s eyes in this life and the next.

Salam,