Ads by Muslim Ad Network

aaa

 Is It Haram to Wish for Death Because of Past Sins?

09 October, 2026
Q Is it a sin to wish for death after every repentance, dear Sheikh? I committed shirk, blasphemy, and made false oaths, and I had doubts. Then, of course, I repented and put my trust in Allah, but I am very ashamed of what I did in the past. Also, because I fear dying as a disbeliever, after every repentance and prayer, I say, "Allah, I repent and believe again." I feel great shame and pain for what I have done against Allah in the past, and I fear dying as an unbeliever. I regret the oaths, polytheism, and blasphemies I uttered in the past, and I ask Allah for forgiveness. I feel ashamed of what I have done, so I want to die, but I do not consider killing myself. Therefore, I want Allah to take my life. Is this a sin? There are hadiths of the Prophet. Is it a sin to wish for death? The burden of life is too heavy, and my past is too terrible, so I first want to repent to Allah and die as a Muslim. I don't enjoy life, and I feel that my past, and perhaps the fact that I haven't fully repented yet or that Allah hasn't forgiven me yet, might harm the faith of the person I want to marry. Because in our religion, Islam, women can only marry Muslims. So I'm afraid that if I haven't fully repented yet, I might be an unbeliever or a polytheist. Of course, I repent every day, but for this reason, I cannot propose marriage to him in an Islamic manner, and I cannot tell his father. And I still haven't fully repaired my relationships with my family, and I'm afraid their faith will be affected. Of course, the Quran says that everyone is responsible for their own sins, but I'm afraid. For these reasons, and because I fear losing my faith again, I want to die as a Muslim. Is this a sin?

Answer

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty
09 October, 2026

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

In this fatwa:

What Should Muslims Do When They Wish for Death Because of Past Sins?

  1. Repent sincerely and seek Allah’s forgiveness.
  2. Avoid despairing of Allah’s mercy.
  3. Recite the Prophetic supplication concerning life and death.
  4. Dismiss intrusive doubts about faith and repentance.
  5. Rebuild family relationships and continue doing good deeds.
  6. Seek guidance from a trusted scholar or mental health professional when overwhelmed.

Responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Is It Haram to Wish for Death Because of Past Sins?

Feeling overwhelmed by past sins to the point of wishing for death is a natural human response, but Islam teaches us not to seek death in distress. The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised those experiencing deep sorrow to say:

“O Allah, keep me alive as long as life is good for me, and let me die when death is good for me.”

This reflects a balanced and hopeful approach.

Allah accepts your repentance for Shirk, blasphemy, false oaths, and painful doubts—inshaAllah, completely and without hesitation. True Tawbah erases even the gravest sins. When a person refrains from sin, feels sincere regret, and turns back to Allah, He promises not only forgiveness but also the transformation of past wrongs into good deeds.

Your Repentance and Fear of Disbelief: What Does Islam Teach?

Your Tawbah is genuine and sincere. The urge to repeat the Shahadah after every prayer does not indicate disbelief; rather, it signifies intrusive thoughts. Allah does not hold you accountable for thoughts you reject. You are a Muslim with firm faith, and your sensitivity reflects sincerity, not rejection.

Despair originates from Shaytan; hope and healing come from Allah.

Your past sins will not ruin your future—neither your marriage prospects nor your family life. Each person is accountable only for their own deeds, and your repentance has already cleared your slate.

Can Past Sins Affect Marriage and Family Life in Islam?

The weight you bear is part of a test that elevates your rank, strengthens your heart, and draws you closer to Allah. The fear of slipping again is common among those who repent—disregard it and reaffirm your faith.

In Islam, a sincerely repentant person is fully dignified and deserving of marriage. You are not obligated to reveal sins that Allah has forgiven and concealed.

Wishing to die as a Muslim out of fear for your faith is understandable, but it is healthier to focus on living with purpose, gratitude, and trust in Allah’s mercy.

How to Overcome Guilt and Fear after Tawbah in Islam

  • Replace wishes for death with the Prophetic Du`a mentioned above.
  • Dismiss intrusive doubts about Shirk; resist the urge to repeat acts of worship unnecessarily.
  • Rebuild your life with hope—nurture family ties, seek marriage when ready, and fill your days with good deeds that bring peace to your heart.
  • If your fears become overwhelming, consult a compassionate scholar or therapist; one sincere daily Istighfar is sufficient.

Allah sees your regret, your fear, and your longing to return to Him. Live with hope—His mercy surpasses every sin you have ever committed. May He grant you peace, steadfastness, and a righteous spouse who brings comfort and joy to your heart.

👉 Read also:

Almighty Allah knows best.