Answer
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
Islam emphasizes maintaining family ties, but Muslims are not required to endure repeated emotional abuse or humiliation from relatives. Reducing visits or setting boundaries with abusive brothers may be necessary to prevent harm while preserving reasonable family connections. Learn how to protect yourself without wrongfully cutting ties.
Responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
Is It Permissible to Avoid Abusive Family Members in Islam?
No. Islam does not require you to keep putting yourself in situations where you are repeatedly insulted, humiliated, or emotionally hurt.
Maintaining family ties is important in Islam, but that does not mean you must allow relatives to mistreat you.
If visiting your brothers regularly causes you real harm, you may reduce your visits or, when necessary, stop visiting for a time. This does not automatically mean that you are guilty of wrongfully cutting family ties. Sometimes, keeping a healthy distance is necessary to protect yourself and prevent the situation from becoming worse.
How Can You Maintain Family Ties Without Being Harmed?
Maintain whatever family connection you reasonably can, but you do not have to remain in situations where you are being harmed.
Even if you cannot visit comfortably, you may still keep some connection in simpler ways—a greeting from time to time, a brief message, `Eid wishes, asking about them when appropriate, making Du`a for them, or keeping in touch through another family member.
You are not required to attend gatherings where you reasonably expect to be abused, mocked, or humiliated.
How Should You Respond to Insults From Family Members?
You do not have to argue or respond with insults of your own. You can calmly say:
“I want to maintain a good relationship with you, but I cannot continue a conversation in which I am being insulted. We can talk when we are able to speak respectfully.”
Then politely end the conversation or leave. Walking away from abuse is not the same as abandoning your family.
How Can You Set Boundaries with Abusive Brothers in Islam?
Try to set your boundaries calmly, without anger or revenge. Protecting yourself does not give you permission to mistreat them in return. At the same time, being related to someone does not give that person permission to mistreat you.
And do not allow frightening statements such as “You are going to Jahannam” to control you. No family member has the authority to decide another person’s final destiny before Allah.
Your responsibility is to do your best before Allah: avoid injustice, protect yourself from genuine harm, forgive where you are able, and maintain whatever family connection you can without repeatedly exposing yourself to mistreatment.
If reconciliation becomes possible, welcome it—but it should be based on respect, not continued abuse. A wise family elder, counsellor, imam, or mediator may sometimes help.
Remember that setting a healthy boundary is not the same as rejecting your family. Sometimes, a little distance, maintained without hatred or revenge, is what allows a relationship to heal.
Keep your heart free from bitterness as much as you can, make Du`aʾ for your family, and entrust what you cannot change to Allah.
👉 Read also:
- How Does Islam Care for Ties of Kinship?
- Can You Cut Ties with Your Family in Islam?
- Can a Muslim Woman Escape an Abusive Father?
- How to Deal with an Abusive Mother-in-Law as a Muslim Wife
- Is It Sinful to Distance from Abusive Parents?
- Can a Muslim Distance from Abusive Parents While Staying Obedient?
Almighty Allah knows best.
