As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear sister,

 

Alhamdulillah, I’m pleased to read that at least the situation with your husband has improved and that you experience tranquility when you are with him. This is very important in marriage and I am pleased that, despite the difficulties, there is some happiness in your life with your spouse.

 

It is perfectly natural to feel depressed when in the situation that you are with your family. We all want to make our parents happy and in Islam we are ordered to be good to them. But when they expect us to do something haram or against Islamic principles, then we are under no obligation to comply at all. In fact, we are to resist.

 

Everything we do should be for the sake of Allah. Obeying the rules of our fore-fathers that are against Islam is not for the sake of Allah, but for their sake to please them. Some might even call this a form of shirk.

 

Take examples from Islamic history; Prophet Ibrahim (AS), for example. Despite the shame it would bring on him to resist the forbidden act of idol worship that his father wanted him to engage in, he still refused. So you can find comfort in the fact that even the greatest of people before us have faced the challenge of resisting close family for the sake of Allah. Maybe your marriage to this man will disappoint your family, but it will please Allah, and this is the most important thing.

 

It is a trial sister, a very difficult one, but ma sha’ Allah, you have done the right thing to be engaged in a halal relationship and resist any efforts from your family to follow cultural traditions that are not related to Islam. Everyone is tested in different ways and this is the way Allah has chosen to test you. You have no need to wish for death because there are many blessings in trial, dear sister.

 

Firstly, as I mentioned in the previous paragraph, Allah will test the very best of people. This gives you a chance to prove your faith in Allah. Additionally, it is said that for every trial you face, your sins will be expiated. What a great reward for having endured hardship! This is a good sign that Allah loves you, sister. Know that you ARE strong enough to endure and survive this test. What is most important is that you stay strong in faith and don’t let this situation shake that. Let it be what brings you closer to Him.

 

May Allah bring you strength in this adversity dear sister. May He continue to bring you peace in the presence of your spouse, and may He make relations with your family easier and more comfortable.

 

Salam,