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As a New Muslim, I Miss Being Part of a Community

07 October, 2023
Q May peace be with you wherever you are. I would like to ask for advice and tips to keep me stronger in my faith every day and not get discouraged. I live in a country where the Muslim population is less than 1%, made up mostly of immigrants who are very closed in their social groups. I have practically no Muslim friends, and, since Islam is not an individual religion, I really miss being part of a community and it makes me very sad sometimes. I am always returning to Allah and doing my best to make this situation change, however, I am usually sad to be among so many non-Muslims who do not understand my choices and my faith. Do you have any advice to give me? I converted recently, 3 months ago.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

  • Probably most converts come through this phase. Many of us did not have a community around us at the beginning.
  • Join an online course about Islam. There are online communities for new Muslims, support groups, mentorship programs too.
  • What about searching for a charity or voluntary organization and participating in a good cause?
  • If you have good friends or family members and you have a good and loving relationship with them, keep maintaining the ties.

Salam alaikom, dear sister,

First of all, let me welcome you to Islam. I am glad to hear that you have chosen to become a Muslim. May Allah keep you on the right path.

You are Muslim in a country where less than 1% of the population is Muslim, so it means that Islam is somehow less visible around you.

You miss the greater community, and this is understandable, as, just like you say, Islam is a very “social” religion. You feel sad to be among so many non-Muslims who don’t understand your choices and faith.

What can you do in a situation like this?

Dear sister, as a convert myself, I can understand what you are talking about. You are new to the religion and have found a new way of life, but this is still a transitional phase somehow, right? You started practicing your faith and getting on a life-time journey, but probably your external reality still does not reflect your internal one or the one you are longing for.

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I would like to reassure you that it is normal, and probably most converts come through this phase. Many of us did not have a community around us at the beginning. And when we look around and see some groups, like you mention, we may feel that we don’t fit in.

But think about it: everything happens at the will of Allah. He chose you and guided you towards Islam, alhamdulillah. Surely, he is very aware of your situation. So, think about that this also happens for a reason. And for some reason, that is beneficial for you. He is the Delayer of the causes and the Wisest and He knows what is best for you and when.

Who knows? Maybe Allah wants to protect you from the company of those who would not positively affect your faith. Maybe, for some reason, it is best if you are not yet surrounded by a community. Maybe it is best for you at this moment if you can focus on strengthening your faith without any unwanted or incorrect influences.

Allah knows what the reason is, but know that whatever the case, it is best for you for now, and when the right time comes, you will get what you need.

The power of dua

I am sure you have heard about the power of dua. Allah sees and hears you, so do not be shy to ask Him for what you need. After your prayers, ask Him for righteous friends and companions, and trust that He will place the right people on your way.

And sometimes a good Muslim friend or two is the best you can have. Is there any masjid or an Islamic center around? You may visit it sometime, join the Friday prayer, for example, or see what events they organize. You may come across some sisters, and you can share with them your interest.

Online options

Another idea is to join an online course about Islam. There are plenty of good options, although mostly in English. Nowadays, these online courses have WhatsApp groups for students, and that is another great opportunity to connect with like-minded sisters. In this case, you would gain both knowledge and some peers who could learn about Islam together.

Also, there are online communities for new Muslims, support groups, mentorship programs, etc. I kindly advise you to check your social media to see what is available.

Furthermore, what about searching for a charity or voluntary organization and participating in a good cause? Just look around: many Muslim initiatives work with volunteers, either online or on the ground. Check out the options and contact those who resonate with you.

Keep good company and the good what you have

And I would like to share with you another thought. Yes, you are a Muslim now, alhamdulillah, and this has opened the door for you to a whole new perspective on life. But you do not need to leave behind all of yourself and the people and things you have liked in your previous life. You may find enjoyment in your hobbies, like reading, sports, cultural activities, nature, etc.

You are still “you,” so be proud of yourself and keep your good companionships and friends around. If you have good friends or family members and you have a good and loving relationship with them, keep maintaining the ties. You may have other things in common, and unless it is not against Islamic teachings, you can still benefit from their companionship and support.

I understand that to strengthen your new identity, you feel the need for some form of alienation, and you prefer to be around those who are Muslims and whom you can share your experiences with. That is okay, and surely it would help you in this transitional period.

Benefits

But know that being a Muslim in a place where there are only a few Muslims has its benefits. You can be the one who shows the beauty of this religion to others. Maybe you will be the one who contributes to changing the views of others for a more positive one about the religion.

So, I advise you to keep learning and practicing, and let your good manners and Islamic character reflect who you are. It may make people curious about your way of life, and you can share it with them.

May Allah bless you and keep you on the path of Islam.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Orsolya Ilham O.
Orsolya Ilham has a BA in Communication and Manager in Public Relations, MA, BSC in Psychology. She studied Islamic sciences and obtained certificates in Islamic counseling, Islamic marriage counseling, and in the jurisprudence (fiqh) of counseling and psychology. Previously she worked in a client-centered atmosphere; currently, as a translator, counselor, and content creator related to Islam, counseling, and psychology.