Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,

 

Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon problem. This is likely because we are faced with images that promote such behaviors on a daily basis. It is quite inescapable, especially in the West. It is almost impossible to live your normal daily life without being faced with images that bring such thoughts to mind.

 

Let’s begin by focusing on the positives; alhamdulilah, you will be getting married soon, alhamdulilah you have recognised that it is a problem and are in the process of doing something about it, and alhamdulilah, islam has the solution for this.

 

The fact that you know it is a problem is the best place to start. It will give you motivation to do all you can to change. Furthermore, you know that it is a sin which on its own is enough to eventually push you away from this behaviour to avoid the unpleasant feelings you get as a result of engaging in the sin. Continue to repent for the sin. Stand before Allah and beg for His forgiveness. He loves to forgive and will if you continue to ask for His Mercy and continue to do all you can to stop this behaviour. You must be confident in His Mercy if you are to free yourself from such guilt and move on free from this sin.

 

As with everything, Islam always a has the solution. In this case, one solution is to get married. You are at an age where you will have these desires that need meeting. The only way to meet this in a halal way is through marriage. Marriage is highly valued in Islam and this is one of the reasons why, as it stops the need for fornication as needs can oherwise be met without acts that lead to corruption in the land. With this in mind, since being with the woman until you marry isn’t permitted, I would encourage you to get married as soon as possible so that you can experience this unity. In sha Allah once married you will find your life in this particular domain will change dramatically as you have a different outlook in life.

 

In the mean time, Allah has offered other solutions to your desires which will be good practice to implement in your life until you get married. Keep Allah in mind always, with everything you do, even small tasks. Make the necessary du’as throughout the say. With Allah in mind it will be easier to stay away from sinful acts. When you get a chance, keep busy with acts of worship, improve your Qur’an recitation skills, watch islamic lectures and increase your knowledge, perform dhikr; all these things so that Allah is always in your mind.

 

With Ramadan almost here, it will be time to fast which is another excellent solution to your problems and is prescribed in the Sunnah as a means to control your desires if you are not married. Whilst fasting you will not be permitted to commit the sins you have and therefore should,  in sha Allah prevent you from doing such things especially during this time as we learn to control all desires, right down to that of hunger and thirst.

 

May Allah forgive and guide you and grant you a spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes in this life and the next.