As salamu alaykum sister,

 

Shokran for writing to our live session. Your question iso ne many parents ask. Sister, I do not know how long you have been married or what your relationship is with your husband’s child. I pray that you are close to her and have a bond, though that is not always possible right away. With children it may take time to build a relationship.

 

Comfort, Security and Bonding

 

There are a lot of parents who let their child (children) sleep with them. Especially during the first few years, it provides a time for bonding as well as security and comfort for the child. As she is five, perhaps she is used to sleeping with her parents if she has been doing it all along. If you are comfortable with this and welcome her, then there should be no issue. However, as she gets a little older, I would suggest weaning her to her own room which can be done in steps. Having a child sleep with you has benefits and negatives. Some of the benefit are outlined above. The negative outcomes can include a disruptionin you and your husband’s intimate time alone. If you are newly married, this could pose a problem in forming your own personal connection as husband and wife.

 

Making a Transition

 

If the case is that you are not for co-sleeping, insha’Allah discuss it with your husband to see if he is open to slowly acclimating her to her own room. Possibly she can sleep with the both of you for 6 nights, then 5 and so on. However it is done, insha’Allah, assure her of your love and remind her that she is becoming a young lady. You may want to make co-sleeping a fun night instead of a regular pattern. For instance, on a Friday or Saturday you may wish to have snacks and watch a movie in bed together as a family. If it is done in this way, it’s not looked at as a regular every night occurrence but rather it is looked at as a special occasion. As she is getting older she may begin to want her personal private space as well. She may even look forward to you and her decorating her room.

 

Conclusion

 

Many parents go through this phase just fine and the child eventually seeks their own room. It will really depend on how you feel about it sister. Please do talk with your husband about how you feel regarding his (now your) daughter sleeping with the both of you. Based on what you both desire regarding the situation, work towards a mutually beneficial goal for sleeping habits. We wish you the best.