as salamu alaykum,

 

Shokran for writing to our live session. I am sorry to hear about what you are going through emotionally.  From what you have described, in 2017 you felt something or suspected that something transpired between your wife and brother in law.  When you raised concerns, it almost ruined your marriage.  You currently suspect phone calls and other interactions and appear to keep thinking about it.  You also feel that your brother and brother in law are not running the family business correctly and are “ruining everything”.  Lastly, you say there are rumors of your in-laws doing wrong things.

 

I may be wrong, please forgive me, but you seem consumed with the idea of other people doing bad things (your wife, brother, brother-in-law, your in-laws).  As you know, it is not good to be always pondering on bad things we think people may be doing, especially with no proofs).  In fact, in the Qur’an it states ‘O ye who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime” (49:12).  While there may be some proofs such as bad business decisions or other factors, indeed more is needed to substantiate your deep concerns and mental anguish.  It appears to be harming you as well as your family relations.  I understand brother, that you want the best for your family and you are concerned.  However, we can oftentimes go overboard with concern and thoughts of other peoples actions.

 

I kindly ask that you review how you are feeling in other regards.  Are you anxious, are you under a lot of stress, do you have unfounded fears depression or other mental health symptoms?  You state that everything was going well until you became mentally ill in 2017.  You feel your mental health has been triggered by a possible event between your wife and brother in law.

 

Brother, I kindly ask you to find some time when the home is peaceful and you can relax and sort out your thoughts.  Examine each separate issue starting with your wife and brother in law.  Make a list of the actions or words which made you think something transpired.  Please make sure it is concrete proof and not just a suspicion.  Insha’Allah, please do this with the other issues.  Insha’Allah this may help you to rationalize if these suspicious thoughts have a solid basis or not.  It may be that these suspicious thoughts are a by-product of your mental health status, including the initial one with your wife. If this is the case then it is not your fault.  You may be suffering from anxiety or another mental health issue which is causing you to feel suspicious and possibly paranoid.

 

I kindly suggest dear brother that you seek out a counselor who can evaluate you, and determine if indeed there is a disorder present.  If there is, I encourage you to follow the treatment plan as it can insha’Allah, restore your mental health.   Please let us know how you are doing, you are in our prayers.